Setting an example

He was playing with his younger brother in the playroom. 

Me: Kor kor, how old are you?

Boy: I'm am 8.

Me: Oh...this playroom is for kids aged 6 and below. But you can go to the library section to read some books. 

Boy: 😊 (ran away to get his bag. Then, sat beside his parents and took out a book from his bag to read.) 

I was amazed at his obedience. I found complete obedience in him without any struggles. He didn't doubt on what I had said. He also didn't return to the play area which he was forbid to enter. He simply OBEYED. 

His parents? They were the one that cleaned the table after each meal. Quiet, elegant yet shines like the lamp that mentioned in the Bible. I believe this is the type of Christians that God wants us to be: 

"Let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:16

The parents need not be loud. They just need to shine and be examples for the children to follow. They're my cell group member and today, before we went out for Sunday service, I'd received his whatsapp on today's Daily Bread that he had pondered upon. No wonder the parents are always on guard. They start the day with God's words! I hope that I'm able to talk to them and know them personally one day for they've inspired me to be a better parent. 

Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the ONLY means.

Albert Einstein

I have dark skin

I was born tanned. My mom said she drank kopi-O when she was pregnant with me. My brother is so much fairer than I do. No doubt, my mom drank fresh milk when she was pregnant with my brother. 

I grew up being called different names - hitam manis, Fatimah or Indonesian maid. And now I have new nicknames - Vietnamese, Burmese or the refugee. 

I grew up not having self-confidence because of my skin colour and plainer than the plain Jane features. I was compared to whoever closed to me and my parents were too busy to realise deep down, I was hurt. I felt lonely and hurt. I didn't understand why people didn't like me. But plastic surgery was out of my mind, still is, because I fear pain more than being judged as plain or not pretty. 

Now, it comes to my children. Both my kids are not fair too. Son should be tanned and stout.  But daughter? Errmm...she's going to face what I have gone through. And my husband knows it too well. I was comforted because he knows what to do when our daughter was ignored by our relatives. He carried her around and made her occupied. We didn't want to let her feel neglected or rejected just because she was not fairer or prettier compared to .....

My son asked, "Why does it matter if we are dark?"

"You don't understand. People don't like people who are dark or not pretty," I said.

"Human look at face. God look at the heart," Isaac uttered. 

"Yes, you're right. It's too bad I don't know God when I was a kid. If I know Jesus, I'm sure I won't feel so desperate and depressed," I snapped. 

"Yes. That's why we have the song, 'Jesus loves the little children,....red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight,....,'" Isaac sang. 

I smiled. I thank God because my kids know Jesus at this tender age. They won't feel unloved even if the people around them choose to ignore them - that's because Jesus loves them as they are! 

My son's first week in school

Last time, it was Thangachini and this time, it was Atilah. My son never fails to surprise me!

Last week was the first week of school for my son who has been registered for Year One. Like all mothers, I was excited as well as nervous. But the school was rather strict. Parents were only allowed to come into the school during the first three days. We have to learn to let go though in our minds, there are still too many things which we think our kids couldn't handle. 

So, with my mom's encouragement, I didn't go to visit my son during recess at all on the third day. He had told me very confidently he knows how to buy food for himself. 

On the fourth day of school, I got the chance to meet with his class teacher after school to say good bye. And his teacher took the opportunity to tell me something which I have expected yet have been praying for it not to happen. 

"He likes to talk. He talks too much. All his classmates have been complaining about him," his teacher said. 

😰😰

I smiled. "Yes. He likes to talk." I warned him in front of his teacher and his teacher said, "Yes. You cannot talk so much. Otherwise, I'll put you in a 'special seating'." 

I smiled and said goodbye to the teacher.

That's my son. It was just the first week and his teacher has changed his seating for three times. Teachers thought that he won't be able to communicate with students from other races but they didn't know that my son is truly 1 Malaysia boy! He can speak to whoever sitting beside him be it an Indian or Malay. 

And today, teacher changed his seating again because he has been talking too much with Atilah. 

Yet he is very happy.

"I've two new friends today!" 

"Oh, that's great! How did you make friends with them? ...??? Teacher changed your place again?" 

"Yes!"

😬😰😰

Belligerent, proud and ignorant young drivers

I live in Setapak and it is very close to TAR COLLEGE. Needless to say, this place has been turned into a city with condos by developers to meet the demands of property investors. Most of the condos here are rented out to students thus, our neighbours are mostly students from other states. I have had very friendly students as my neighbours but that was many years ago. Nowadays, many have grown tired of greeting people and become expressionless. What's worse is - they drive dangerously. Some are simply belligerent and ignorant, ignoring one-way or no entry signs as well as coming out from junctions and expecting you to avoid them. 

I remembered having my first car when I was 25. That was my dad's 20 years old Toyota Corolla. Later on, I bought a second hand Kancil with all my savings and a loan from my dad. A car was something so precious to us, we drive with utmost care. But nowadays, parents give cars, especially new ones to college children. How puffed up these kids are! They speed even in the condo itself! What are they trying to prove? You don't understand. I do hope the parents will examine their kids driving skill before letting them drive out to harm the lives of others.

My son starts his primary one!

My son has started primary one. 󾌥

I was more nervous than he did. Well, I am always the nervous type. Afraid of being late to school, afraid of getting stuck in the jam, afraid of this and that...

Isaac on the other hand, is a happy go lucky person. After the first day, he came back telling me, "Teacher said, tomorrow all parents cannot sit in the canteen. You all should go far far away to see us eat only."

Me: So, I don't need to go to school to see you? Are you sure you know how to buy food?

Isaac: Yes la.

Yet, today my mom and I went to school and waited till his recess time. When he saw us, he asked us to go far far away. Then he lined up to buy food. When we reappeared, he quickly hid the junk food he had bought under the table. My mom assured him that I won't scold him for buying junk food. Then only he took it out to eat. What a boy! 

I was mad when I saw him buying junk food. What a waste of money! But my mom said that I have been too strict with him and that makes him wanting to hide whatever "secrets" from me and that's dangerous. 󾍂 

My mom said she never controlled what my brother and I bought to eat when we were kids. Why do that to my son? He needs to have his childhood memory of "junk food" before accepting that they are just junk. Haiii...quite true. I don't eat junk food now. I've had my share when I was a kid and now, I hate junk food. They just make you look horrible with lots of colouring! 󾌿

Maybe I should let go a bit...a bit only. 󾌵

I'm not a good mother

How often do you think you're not a good mom? 

I often feel that. 

Today I felt it's so true - I am not a good mom. 

It's Christmas and as usual, kids got a lot of junk food including lollies and chocolates. I asked my son to put all the food into a large plastic bag. 

Later in the day, I picked out the junk food, which was to be given to the security guards of our condominium. When I was almost done, my baby wanted to eat something and prompted me to go to the fridge and there, I found a small hill of lollies, chocolates and junk food. OK, that's the work of my son. He kept whatever he wanted in the fridge and left what he didn't want out there in the big plastic bag. Aha- I caught him. So, I picked out those I "don't" like and put them in the plastic bag. 

When we were going out for dinner with the bag of food for the guards, he suddenly asked, "Mama, did you take the lollies from the fridge?"

I've to say yes. I don't lie. And that's the start of a terrible war. He started to grumble and fuss about how many lollies I've picked out and what's left. It made him even more frustrated because we were out and he couldn't check the fridge, and what's given is given. 

It was until we ordered the food that I lost my temper and pulled his ear. 

"What's so big deal with giving others some lollies? You've so many? And there are more than 4 in the fridge, I'm sure. Isn't that enough?" 

I felt bad after that. When we were back home, he apologised to me, after checking the fridge and found that he actually has 8 lollies! I apologised to him too yet I felt a part of me has turned bad. It's a bad experience. I hate to be a bad mom. I cried but it's the past. 

Temper oh, temper...you're such an evil. 

I cried to The Lord and was comforted. If I had told my son, "Please come to the fridge and let us sort this out. There are too much of junk in it." I'm sure he'll respond happily and we won't have any disagreement after that. But I was so wrong to be bossy. I thought I can give away whatever I like. I should have discussed with my son. He's big enough to understand. After all, he's a mature boy and the teachers that have taught him before never failed to let me know that "Isaac is a mature boy. He can understand many things. He's one that can sit down to discuss a thing and talked to."

Lord, oh Lord, please guide me to be a better mom.

When will we grow to be responsible adults?

Being a parent of two, coupled with long-term sleep deprivation, I have only a common word in my head - EXHAUSTION. Hence, more often than not, I have excuses to many imperfections, mistakes, anger explosions or temper. But today, I've seen a pair of graceful parents of three who didn't give in to exhaustion. 

They were new to me and though we are arranged to be in the same cell group, our paths have never crossed. But today, while having lunch in the canteen, I saw how these parents' little acts may glorify our God. 

The father saw a spill of curry on a table and went to take a cloth to clean it up, discreetly. He can just leave it alone because it was not him who had spilt it. But he chose to differ. It reminded me how I used to love the house of God, keeping it clean whether anyone was in sight of my act. But not anymore. I've grown weary. Not many cared, anyway. 

"PIANG!!" There went the sound of a falling bowl, with spilt food. It's amazing how these parents reacted. No Lamentations, no scolding or whatsoever. The mom got up immediately and went to take a broom and dustpan and had the food swept away. The father winked at his son and asked, "Why?" His son smiled and moved his elbow slightly, probably trying to tell his father that he had accidentally pushed the bowl down with his elbow. Then, he continued to enjoy his chicken drumstick. After the family had left, I could find a spotless table - which again reminded me that loving God also meant loving his house. 

As I turned around, I saw another table - with rice, a messed up baby chair and floor - an opportunity for the rats to be fed at night. Another pair of weary parents? 

I can only comment on the patient parents of three who have revived my first love with Christ and prompt me to do better. Jesus had time for all who came to seek him. Why don't we have time for Him? Doing something for Christ doesn't mean it should be within the sights of others. And what's more, cleaning after our own usage is our responsibility. 

When I went to the library, I saw librarians arranging books in accordance to the categories. I thanked God too for these people who worked tirelessly to maintain the library and what's more, they hadn't had their lunch when we had all enjoyed ours! 

My husband has a friend who likes to say, "We want to live with first world facilities but we have third world mentality." How could we enjoy when we are here to take advantage of others? And what's the use of having better facilities when they'll be gone tomorrow with no concerns or responsibilities in caring for them? 

Making meat floss / chicken floss with a bread maker

My breadmaker has been kept in the dark till my friend told me I can make meat floss / chicken floss with it. 

My curiosity was at its peak. I loved chicken floss when I was a child and making it was out of my mind (I'd been thinking it involved sophiscated procedures). But my friend's recipe sounded sooo easy I wanted to try immediately. 

I went to the market and bought 500g of meat. Boiled it in my soup.   Then took it to the pot and boiled with some water, 1 table spoon of  sugar and 1 tablespoon of soy sauce till the meat soaked up all the liquid. I took it out and put into the breadmaker and had it run on JAM mode - twice - for a completely dry and flossy effect. 

Viola! I've healthy, no preservatives, no colouring, no flavoring meat floss at home! 

Note: errr.... It could be tasteless for adults but it's fine for kids. 󾌩

Ego or relationship?

Recently my friend told me of an incident that she had the rights to deny the demands of her neighbor, but to preserve the friendship, she has chosen to obliged with what was asked. 

"If I win in the argument but have hurt the feelings of the others, I will have lost a friend. I choose friendship than winning," she said. 

Here's a very good pic I found that explains it all:

I have lost!

I have lost the battle. It's such a bitter pill that I cried and cried. I cried so hard that I felt I was insane. My son kept telling me, "Don't cry. Don't cry." But I just told him, "You cried too when you lost in your chess game. I need to cry to make myself better." 

"There's something in the heart that feels not right," I told my son, and continued crying. My son, sat beside me and said, "God asks us to forgive." It struck me that it's not only about winning or losing but also about forgiving. It's about forgiving others who have misjudged us. It's about forgiving others who have dealt with us unfairly. 

When I have calmed down, I told my son, when I was young I dared not join any competition. I was afraid of losing. The biggest challenge was not the competition itself but the ability to handle lost. I backed off. I thought that by not joining, I was saved from any embarrassment. But I was so wrong. I have actually lost many opportunities to learn and grow emotionally. 

So, I explained, "I wish you can join more competitions and be sporting. Even if you've lost, say it's ok to yourself and train yourself to better equipped the next time and try again. Try till you're able to triumph through the challenges. Do not be afraid of losing or you'll lose a lot of fun." 

I hope after today, both of us will grow emotionally and spiritually in dealing with losing. 

Nothing can make me feel better if I am not willing to let go of the grudges. 

It's all in the heart. 

What matter most in life?

Recently I was upset with many "unfortunate" events that have happened in my life. I wish life could be smoother, people could be kinder, family members could be more understanding, blah blah...but no one is perfect. 

And just this afternoon, one of my submitted assignments was rejected. I was so angry at the decision maker. At first, I was angry and started to send complaints to the respective departments. Next, I was crying and then on my knees, praying for guidance. My son came to me and gave me consolation, followed by my baby who parroted her brother, "Don't cry la, mama." 

I replied, "I wish I will win in this battle but sometimes what we think is right may not be right. We need God to show us whether it's really right or wrong. Only God is righteous and only He can be our avenger and judge. So let it be. Let God judge my case." So, I should put the case to rest temporarily till I get replies from all the departments. 

While I was cooking, I was fuming with rage again, thinking how unfairly I was treated. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. After I had done with my chores, I sent a reply to the decision maker and questioned her on her decision. Well, it's after office hour and I've to wait till tomorrow to get an answer.

Before my shower, something strike me to think...deeply. Does this all matter? What if I win? And what if I lose? Everything fades away when one leaves the earth. We can't bring anything with us. So, why battle? A moment of triumph lasts just for that moment and life goes on whether one wins or loses. For all the anger I have had, it only brings harm to myself. 

What matter most? That's what we need to hold on to...not anger, not the temporarily triumph, not fame or wealth, but something eternal, something that lasts a life time and further...

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

John 3:16

Have "felt" cooking with felt stuffed toys

Thanks to my uncle who bought Hannah new cooking toys. She likes it so much. While I was playing with her, I noticed that there weren't much to cook. Ermmm...only sweet corn and sausages are available. Maybe I should make some extra ones. 

So, I did! I can't wait to start and I've done three carrots for her. Why carrots? They're her favorite and that's the only resources I have, orange and green felt. There should be more, if I have the time and resources. Till, then - 

Have fun cooking now! 

Bed bugs again!!

I refused to believe when I had bites again though they were as itchy as my previous experience with bed bugs. "They looked different. It couldn't be bed bugs," I assured myself. 

So...the bugs returned for another hearty blood meal on the whole of my right leg to prove their existence. Now, this time I am really sure it is from the bed bugs. The bite marks are in a line and it's so itchy i was awaken by it at 2.30am!! And can't fall asleep thereafter because my greatest fear has come back to haunt me. What can I do?

I have to admit, my husband and I are passive people. We only move when we need to. Quick actions are not always imperative unless it's emergency. And I hate to say I hate my husband who is a couch potato! Nothing seem to move him unless he needs to.

The last time, I made the decision to call in the pest control. But it didn't work. We were cheated. The pest control company assured us that one-time pesticides can kill all bed bugs. It was merely a month after the treatment and the bed bugs are back! I regretted calling the pest control and had to throw away our expensive mattress. 

Though I didn't see any bugs after the treatment, I couldn't be at ease. So, I took in the advice from a friend, who is also fighting against bed bugs, to purchase diatomaceous earth (DE) powder. A 1kg purchase is recommended by the supplier to battle against bed bugs. We made a quick purchase but didn't do anything until my leg was bitten! 

It was up to this week, after much pushing AND after feeling like I want to kill myself, my husband was willing to work with me to patch up the holes along the box spring and put on the mattress encasement. We pulled the bed away from the walls and let it stayed isolated in the room. We put containers (with DE powder) under the legs of the bed to trap bed bugs if there's any which climb up or down the bed. 

It's exhausting...and I feel like I'm losing though the battle has just started.

Oh, how I prayed we can be freed from bed bugs when I open my eyes the next morning but how could it be? God will help us. But we need to do something too. 

Fried dory fillet

My mom was a housewife. She was a great cook. She would wake up very early in the morning to prepare delicious breakfast for us and meals like donuts, onde-onde, etc for tea and sumptuous meals for dinner. But since dad fell sick from liver cancer and lost his appetite, mom stopped cooking nice food. In fact, she gave up cooking after dad passed away. All her life, being a housewife, she cared only to cook good food for her husband and children. But when her husband is dead and her children all married and live somewhere else, she lost her interest in cooking too. That's the end of being a housewife to being an individual who lives alone now...

I enjoy cooking too and it makes me happy when my hubby and kids love the meals I cooked. But one day, I shall cook because I love it and not because of anyone. Thence, I can be happy whether or not, I'm still a housewife. 

Pic: Dinner is ready!

Meal - mixed vege, mashed potato with cheese, and fried dory fillet 

How to cook hard boiled egg which is gooey inside

I wondered why my children do not like to eat the egg yolk. My mom said it's because the yolk is dry and could get stuck in the throat, and that's what made the kids avoid it. When we were chatting some Sundays ago, my best buddy told me that cooking egg also need skills. 

???

So, here's how to cook a hard boiled egg with gooey yolk! 😍

1) Bring a pot of water to boil

2) Put in a handful of salt (salt is to stop the egg from flowing out in case of any breakage. But you gotta be careful because salt can cause the boiling water to "erupt" like the volcano and spurt on you. Cautious not to get scalded) 

3) Gently put the egg into the pot, with a scoop or spaghetti claw.

4) Set the timer for 7 minutes

5) Bring the egg out and let it take a cool bath under running water or just let it soak in a bowl of cold water

*This pic of mine is taken after 8 minutes of cooking. I wanted the yolk to be a little solid cos I don't want my baby to eat with extremely gooey yolk that flows down her hands and arms. Too messy for me to clean up 😰😰

But for adults, 7 minutes gooey yolk is the best! 

Yummy yummy!

Sambal petai with prawn

It's been a long long time since my last post on yummy-licious food. 

I've stopped pursuing my cooking skills in exchange with my Master degree. And now that I've graduated, I should go back to my cooking and baking mode, or so I believe, since that's what most housewife does. 

I've longed to eat home-cooked nasi lemak which I've a very fond memory of because my mom used to cook that for us. 

The best part is - sambal petai with prawn paired with fragrantly cooked nasi lemak. It's simply irresistible! 

Recipe : 

1 onion (chopped)

100g petai (halved)

16 medium size prawns (shells removed)

4 tablespoons of sambal sauce 

3 tspn of sugar 

1 tbspn of water 

1) Stir fry onion till fragrant or turn translucent

2) Add in petai and fry till they turn darker in green 

3) Add in prawn and fry till almost cooked 

4) Add in water and bring it to boil 

5) Add in sambal sauce and sugar

6) Stir till well combined

7) Dish up 

Bon appetit!

Egg pudding or steamed egg

When I looked back at my previous recipes, I just couldn't believe myself. I've to apologize, my previous steamed egg was so far from perfect. After all these years, I definitely have improved in my cooking skill and this is the ultimate result for egg pudding or steamed egg - one which is smooth on the surface, soft in texture and without the sign of bubbles on top of it. 

Below is the recipe I found some weeks ago by Amy Beh, our local famous chef. 

I didn't bother to sieve the mixture after they were whisked. I believe the result would be better if I did as the pudding will have a fairer and smoother texture, without the yellowish substance. Nevertheless, I mine is good enough to look at and delicious to taste!

Enjoy! 

Recipe:

3 eggs 

200ml of fresh milk

50ml of water 

1) Beat the eggs 

2) Add in milk and water

3) Sieve the mixture 

4) Put to steam over high heat for 15 minutes 

*It's important to check on the heat. I opened the cover slightly to allow some heat to escape. Over-heated egg pudding will look crumbled up. 

Being myself

I've watched videos on making Oreo cheesecake for more than 20 times in Youtube and frankly, I'm obsessed with the videos. I can't help clicking on new videos to watch because I think the more videos I watch, the better cake I'll make. 

First thing first, I made a trip to bakery supplies shop with the recipe in hand. And that trip cost me more than RM100! I felt like a super stupid lady because I was "conned" to buy so many other unrelated things when I knew so well what I wanted!!! 😢

Today, after much hesitation, I started to make the cake. After I've completed, I felt like a loser again, with two sinks full of dishes to wash. I wondered whether other bakers have to wash as much. It's exhausting and I felt guilty as I've neglected my darlings when I was so engrossed in doing what I wanted to do. 

While I was washing, I made a conclusion - probably I should not try to do something what others do best but do something I know best. While I always wanted to be a super-mom - being able to teach, bake, cook, clean, sew and more, I should just do what I can i.e. sing, dance and read to my children, and not forgetting the skill of writing bestowed to me by God. 

It's self-fulfillment to be able to make a cake for my children's birthday, but it's even better if I could spend more valuable time with them. I believe it's not harmful to buy a cake for them, isn't it? Leave it to the professionals for the best result since God created us with different skills and if I can't be a baker, I can still be others. Cheers! 😉

Happiness is...

Recently, my baby girl likes to hold a book and walk around with it. I think it's because it has bright colours which attracted her attention. And when she sits down, she'll say, "Shit here, shit here." 😂 OK ok, that's disgusting. She actually meant "sit here, sit here" but her tongue just couldn't pronounce it properly. 

"Read cheese (this)," she'll say once I sit beside her. 

And this book, as simple as it could be, reminded me a lesson I learnt long ago yet have forgotten about it -most of the time. It's the lesson of being grateful. 

When I was reading to her, especially with the help of the illustrations, the book touched me deeply. Yes, yes, I told myself, happiness could be as simple as these but I've forgotten about it. So, here you are, a few doses of happiness for the day! 👼

Positive ways against bed bugs!

What is unseen SOUNDS scarier than what could be seen... OK (take a deep breath). I decided I need to be brave. Bed bugs are just as big as apple seeds. So why scare? 

However....Even after having pest control to come and sprayed the whole house with pesticides, the fear of bed bugs prowling INSIDE the cupboard or behind some creaks or corners gave me sleepless nights. 

I've to admit I made a very big mistake, AGAIN and it's a very costly one. Before I called in the pest control, I should have read more thoroughly than being panicked. Now that what is done is done, I've to throw away my mattresses because the smell of the pesticides is unbearable. Even if the smell is gone, I doubt I'll let my baby to sleep on treated mattresses as I read that it's hazardous to let kids sleep on bed with pesticides. You'll never know what will happen to their lungs in the long run, breathing poison while they're sleeping and breathing haze during the day! It's simply choking. 

I hate to think that I was cheated but who doesn't want business? Not many will be honest to decline $$$. 󾍀

Some simple advices to those who have bed bugs so that you don't have to dump everything!:-

1) Don't panic. Call a steam wash company. Bed bugs are afraid of heat or cold. So steaming them up will kill them completely, including their eggs. 

2) Remove all the clothes from the cupboard and have them laundered. Drown them in the washing machine and cook them up with super hot water. 

3) Use mattress encasement. The existing bed bugs will be suffocated and starved in the encasement. 

4) Uncluttered the room to reduce any hiding places for the bed bugs. 

5) Check for gaps, holes, crevices, corners which bed bugs may have a chance to hide there. 

6) Set a trap. A simple one with : one layer of masking tape and then another layer of double side tape. When the bed bugs are out hunting for blood, they'll get stuck on the double side tape before reaching you!

I've to share with you a very sincere cleaning company who's willing to chat up with me and shared his experience though I did not give him any businesses. I think he deserves a thumb up here. If you need home sanitation, you may try to contact: Fibre Care 017-2992343. He may not be able to pick up call on the spot but he'll eventually return your call or reply to your enquiry.