Dead friendship

Any relationship is the same. You need to put in time and effort to maintain its warmth. A warm glass of water left on the table will turn cold eventually. I heard that from a Parenting & Marriage counselor.

It rings true to me. Previously I thought that as long as I keep in touch even after a long time, things would be the same. But it turned out otherwise.

I've always longed to meet up or keep in touch with one of my old time buddy - a 20 years buddy. I thought that distance n time didn't matter. We can talk when we were free. There's no need to meet up often. But I was wrong. Along the way, she has found other good buddy to share her ups n downs, thus eliminating me from her life altogether.

Probably I treated her like my sibling. We don't have to meet often but we understand each other. I thought it'll work out but it didn't. Dead friendship it is now - no need of concern, care or contact. Though I miss her, she treated me like an invalid. It's like having a knife stabbed into my heart, how I longed to tell her I treated her as my best buddy. But I guess she cared no more.

Probably it's time to let go...

Overcoming the fear

When I saw my son cried in his school, I cried with him. I understood the fear he was facing. When I left him, he screamed and kicked with all his might. He didn't want to stay in the school. All he wanted was to stay in the house, his comfort zone, without any disturbance and play with his toys all day long. But life has different phases. As he grows older and older, he needs to face different things and the first challenge he needs to face is SCHOOL. 

I don't remember myself crying when I was sent to the school. I wasn't afraid. I liked school. Probably because I have an older brother who showed me how much he enjoyed going to school and having plenty of friends, it made me feel it would be an enjoyable experience for me too. 

Again, when I pondered at my son's wet face, I remembered myself struggling on the floor, trying to snatch my dad's medication from my mom. I was down and under and was hoping to take my life away due to fear. Of what? The people around me. 

My first job was a nightmare. I joined a local bank and was pushed around by the seniors into doing different tasks and was called names and bullied verbally every day in front of waiting customers. Tears ran down my face yet they did not stop the act of bullying. In fact, the tears proved that they were right, I was a loser and they had won the battle of torturing a new staff. The turnover in the bank was high. No new employee can withstand the bully more than 6 months. The manager wasn't doing anything. He couldn't because he was being boycotted as well. 

Dad had been encouraging. He said nothing should stop me from working in the bank because it pays well with many benefits. But I was adamant. I couldn't sleep. I was like a waking vampire, wandering in the bank during office hours and at night, couldn't sleep but kept thinking what was going to happen the next day and what their tricks would be. Life was meaningless. 

When I decided to take my life away, Dad allowed me to hand in my resignation. I was glad that I could finally withdraw myself from the torture. 

Now thinking back, I wondered whether things would be different if I were a Christian then...Would I survive the torture and bullying? I really wanted to know for I do not want to be a loser for life. I don't want to bring this fear, the same fear of facing challenges/ torture to the next generation. Because I gave up, I have nothing to share with my son. I could not share the triumph I didn't experience. I was a dodger, but I don't want my son to be like me. 

School Phobia

First day: he ate 3/4 of the bread
Second day: he ate 1/2 of the bread
Third day: he ate 3 bites and refused to eat anymore

My son, Isaac has just changed to a new school and he feared the new teacher, especially a man teacher that reprimanded him for crying. Isaac's eating habit changed. He used to finish a piece of bread for breakfast but not anymore. The fear of going to school has caused him to lose his appetite and what's more, he has turned from a happy child to a worried one. 

Yesterday, I confronted the male teacher that Isaac mentioned. Trying to be friendly, I said, "Teacher, Isaac is scared of you." The teacher looked at Isaac and smiled. Another teacher who looked on said, "There's no need to be scared. We all love you, Isaac." 

I continued, "Isaac said you scolded him." The teacher looked away, embarrassed. Then, I smiled and took Isaac away. When I went to take Isaac home from school, he told me, "Today the man teacher didn't scold me." I was happy that it worked. Isaac also told me he likes his new teacher, "the thin thin one". I was happy for him that he finally found someone he could count on and I hope things would improve. 

Nevertheless, this child of mine always "brings past to the future, and the future to the present." He couldn't enjoy playing with his toys anymore. Whenever he thinks of his school, he would run to me and says, "I don't want to go to school. I am scared," and pats his chests to show me his fear. When I looked into his eyes, I saw myself. He is so much like me, a worrier. He knew that today everything went fine, but tomorrow might be the repeat of what happened yesterday. Then he worries today what will happen tomorrow. 

Today, I gave him some sweets and told him, "I have to go back and cook for lunch. Otherwise, you have to stay longer in school to have lunch in the school since I don't manage to cook." He understood and let me go. 

God, please take away Isaac's fear and give him peace and joy. Let him befriend his friends and let him learn from his teachers. God provides peace. I trust in You, my Saviour. 

Here I am, 7 months pregnant!

Hello everyone there. I am back - with a bigger stomach to get my tiny Gabriel in it. 

Back in December 2012, I had wanted a baby very much. After all, Isaac was very lonely and kept telling me that his school mates have siblings while he didn't. So, we prayed every night, asking God to give us a baby which we can name her "Gabriel". When I read the book of Matthew in the Bible, I liked the name "Gabriel" instantly. In Chinese, Gabriel is named as "the angel that brings good news." We wanted another angel in the family, especially one who brings good news to us. 

Isaac was serious. He prayed for me and kept asking impatiently when would God grant us our wish. I said, we have to wait.

On  my side, I did UNUSUAL thing. I don't usually go to the dentist but I did to check on my teeth and made sure I don't have any cavities. I went to the gynae to do my pap smear and breasts check. I went to our family doctor to have my blood tested. And when everything was done and the results were out, I was pregnant with Gabriel. 

Everyone in the family was elated. I was at the moment when I saw double lines on my pregnancy strip. But things were not always smooth sailing. The coming week, I started to have serious morning sickness. Isaac had to stop schooling because I couldn't get up from bed and drive him to school. The house was turned into a rubbish dump, with everything here and there. Floor and things were dusty. I was extremely down. I didn't take bath, didn't comb my hair and hoped that I don't have to eat either. 

Fast forward six months later, here I am! Thank God, big and healthy I am. Moms have to go through morning sickness and labour pain to have "the little bundle of joy" later on. 

Bravo Mommies out there! Let us brave ourselves to face the challenge. 

How to live peacefully and happily?

A few days ago, a friend replied my message saying, "Don't pressure yourself by speculating what others think of yourself."

Yea, I like that word "speculating". He knew me so well. I just can't stop thinking of how others think of me and for the past 32 years, I've been living miserably because when someone did not smile at me or did not reply my SMS, I'll "speculate" whether a wrong had been done and what I should be doing next. Sometimes I even sacrificed my sleeping time to think of it which caused me sleepless nights and insomnia.

I have tough time with myself. This friend who advised me has known me for 14 years. Flashing back 14 years ago, we studied in the same school for Form 6. I had hated him for he gave me the impression of a proud guy who thought he knew best and for some time I refused to talk to him though we were committee members in the same society. It was after some time that I asked him and he explained. I was astonished at how he could ignore what others think of him. He said it's of no use spending time thinking of what others think of ourselves. If they are not satisfied with us, they'll come to talk to us. Otherwise, stop wasting time doing that. 

It's so enlightening! I've put myself in a prison for so long and I really deserve a knock on my head. For the past weeks, I've also "speculated" on how a friend who used to talk to me often did not even want to talk to me. It made me so sad. I started to think what made her refused to talk to me and was it something I said in our previous conversations. Whatever it is, if you're not satisfied with me or what I do, come to me and talk about it. I want to stop "speculating" what you may think of me!

Thanks Ching Leong for your message. You help me grow. 

I miss you, Dad!

When I was a child and as far as I could remember, I loved spending time in family outing. Wherever Dad and Mom went, I tagged along. The outing I liked most was trips to Port Dickson or Morib beach or Mimaland Water Theme Park. Dad knew how to swim but I did not. So, it was always secured to stay near him. Every Saturday, Dad would drop us off at the library before he went to work. Then, he would pick us up at 4pm and took us to A&W for ice-cream waffle. Those were the best days in my life. Then, Grandma passed away and Dad had to become a real Dad and look for a better job to be the sole bread winner (Previously he depended his expenses on Grandma). Since then, I hardly see Dad. When he was back, we were already asleep. When we woke up, he had already gone to work. Days, months, years passed and we were all grown up. Dad realised he missed a lot when I entered Form 6. He started to find time to talk to me which I disgusted most. I did not like being treated like a little girl anymore. Yea, he treated me like an eight-year old! "Daught, have you eaten? Is the food delicious? Blah, blah, blah.." He asked me tonnes of questions and at that time, I felt either of us was an idiot to have ask or answer those questions. And I went to the counsellor, a great Christian teacher and she gave me invaluable advices. I changed. During varsity years, though being far away from home, I felt near because Dad called me almost every day. He gave me support mentally and when I graduated from the university, he drove me around for interviews. 

He knew I have a dream to become a famous author. When my first batch of books was published, he distributed the sample copies to relatives and friends. I was embarrassed by his action but was deeply touched for he was the only one who would praise me. Mom was too embarrassed to even mention about my books. (Yea, can't blame her. I think my stories suck too!) There was no one in my life who has praised me except Dad. Though he fell ill in 2007, we thought he would last longer because Doc did not say about death possibility. He was doing well. Even when he was admitted into the hospital for diarrhoea, doctor said he was recovering fast and could be discharged the following day. But the next day while I was rushing through my Master degree assignment, brother called to inform that Dad was vomiting blood and that was when I trembled and tears poured out uncontrollably because I knew he would not be surviving. Indeed, he died the next morning. I lost all hope in continuing my Master's. I had four exams to take, two presentations and two assignments due in one month time. I collapsed and cried so hard because I lost my one and only supporter, one who believed that I can achieve my dream though everyone around think I would fail. I had lost my best buddy who gave time to hear about my lamentations and one who without fail repeated his life's motto: "Never a loser until you quit!" to me. I was lost. 

Brother told me, if I were to let Dad rest in peace, that was the time and I should hold my head high and finished off everything I should. I did and that semester I scored 2 As and 2 Bs. 

Fast forward 5 years, relatives said I should be going back to my hometown often to "pay respect" and put forth "food" for Dad. They considered me unfilial for not doing so. I felt I've done my part. So long I respected him while he was alive, that was the most crucial part of all. Come to think about it, where were they when Dad needed encouragement most? I miss him not only on the Qing Ming day but almost every day because I know what love really means...

What is wrong with good?

I have always been good. I've always thought that "good" is enough. But there is a problem with it.

Recently, I heard a recorded talk on the Jews education. It is a tremendous findings to me. Why Jews are so successful in the world? Though their population is little, they survive through the years and yet, become the most successful people in the whole world. Say for example, 7 out of 8 movie companies are owned by the Jews. Why the Swiss watches are known for the quality? Because the Jews did not settle for good. They settle for the BEST. Whatever they do, they strive to be the best so that the glory may be given to the Lord.

Good is not enough. I thought being in the first class was enough. I should opt to be the first among the best, shouldn't I? I thought scoring above 3.0 CGPA was good enough. But isn't 4.0 CGPA is far better and I would have gained a scholarship to overseas for my Master degree!

Life could be better if I had strive for the best instead of being just good.

Where to find fairness?

Malaysians are hit by the recent blow of General Election 13 (GE13). There are numerous news about fraudulent happened during the whole voting as well as during the counting of votes session. After those 5 years of campaigning and when most of the people thought that "Ini kalilah" (This is the time) to change the government for a better future, Malaysians are hit by the blow that the dream could not be realised!

This Monday people everywhere were seen wearing black to show their dissatisfaction towards the result. Today, a rally is held (508) in Kelana Jaya to voice out the dissatisfaction in a calm manner. What do the people want? People want fairness. People want everyone to be treated equally. 

Can we? 

I guess only God knows and only with God can we have the word "fair" because He is the only one who is just and righteous. 

May God bless our country. Peace, peace, peace. 

P/S: We are all human with flesh and blood. We cry, we bleed, we hurt. Please don't alienate us or brand us according to our colour, race or religion. We are one - HUMAN! 

Kane and Abel

I've just finished reading Jeffrey Archer's Kane and Abel, a 545 pages book from cover to cover. Frankly, it was my first time to read Archer's book and also first time to be able to finish such long book within 3 days with my son around. 

The book, being one of the bestsellers of Archer's and also one of the best liked book by Archer himself has made its imprint into my heart for the past few days. Archer's skill in weaving the plots and characters in the story made you want to bury your head in the book and do nothing else. And so was the guilt of letting my son watch Toy Story 2 while I finished the last chapters of the book this morning. 

From the start of the story, you would be captured by how Archer carved out the first character in the story, Wladek or later known as Abel. Then you would also fall in love with William, described as tall and handsome and many more...

There are a few that I don't quite like about the story. First, should there be so many adultery or involvement of sex in the story? The plots themselves are sufficient to entice one to read on without having so many of the "seductive" ones. Another dislike was on how Archer kills the characters in the story. You just could not fall in love with the characters because soon it would be killed. That's how sad the story was. I have to admit I cried more than three times reading the story. It hurt me to know that Leon has to die due to his protective action of shielding Wladek from the butt of a rifle; Florentyna has to die after being raped by 16 Russian soldiers, William's father death in Titanic, and so on...The story is filled with bloodshed and deaths. 

The last part of the story, which I wanted it to be a happy ending turned out to be sad - William died before he managed to see his daughter-in-law and grandchildren for the first time! I was devastated. How could Archer end the story like that? I mean, isn't the feud between William and Abel long enough to make them kindle and be friends before one of them die? 

And the father-daughter relationship between Abel and Florentyna made me mesmerised those moments I shared with  my late Dad. Dad was so much like the aged Abel, just that he was not as shrewd. But how I wish that the story would end as in Abel knew that William was his benefactor and that should kindle the rivals between both of them. 

Overall, the story made me cry and made me built walls around myself and it would be for days before I could rejoin the real world again for the general election. It is painful to live in a self-made world. I guess this is what people called, "detachment anxiety" from the world we have created through reading a story, just like how Harry Porter had also deeply injected into my heart. Oh, how could these people write into others' hearts? I should learn...

TITLE      : KANE AND ABEL
AUTHOR : JEFFREY ARCHER

The pain from severed friendship

How could I ignore it? But why do I care so much about whether she remembers me? Am I too sentimental to remember what happened some 20 years ago, those happy moments where we sat side by side, had arguments and made up? Am I too sentimental to remember only the good times we spent till we separated when I joined the arts stream while she joined the science? Though separated, we kept in touch and probably I was too occupied with myself, being bullied in my class and sought help than helping her that I've lost her since then! 

Most of us want friends to be with us when were down and under. When I joined arts stream, I faced extreme pressure from my counterparts. I did not know what went wrong, why, when, etc...All I knew was, they teamed up against me and stopped talking to me. I sought help from my friends from the science stream. I had no other friends. I was lonely and cried often. Though I obtained the best student in the arts stream, I had no sincere friends. I guessed it was then that she also faced pressure and she slipped away, getting to know other 'best friends' to accompany her. I did felt jealous at that point but came to realise that we need people during the worst time. It makes sense! 

We went to different university but we met up during holidays and had holidays job together. I still mesmerised those times when I was allowed to go to her house and slept on her bed. People say that a best friend should have slept with us, cried with us, laughed with us,...I thought we did, or I did. And that was the only reason I chose her to be my bride's maid and not my other church member! I cried so easily and poured out my heart to her and probably she was listening to me so intensely that she forgot about telling her problems to me and I lost her. 

OH, why do I care so much? I mean, with Facebook, it's difficult not to see people's progress, what they do, where they are and how they feel. Everything is in black and white and it is clear that I'm totally forgotten! Ok. It's my PMS again. I gotta hang up now before I get dizzy with too many things in my head again...The severed friendship hurts because I knew I've lost her as a friend...Who cares now accept that I felt the difference!

Losing the will to live

Two days ago my friend told me that her uncle had passed on. I asked whether it was the uncle on the wheelchair. She nodded.

He was an invalid for more than 30 years. Being on a wheelchair, he needed help wherever he went. According to my friend, he was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago and the doctor had to feed him through a tube. Reluctant to survive on tube, he pulled it out even knowing that that would cost him his life. I guessed, he must have thought, "What's the use of living on when I'm on a tube?" The burden on the family must have been unbearable. 

He had two sons, one adopted and another son from his own wife. However, it was believed that the son was not his but from his wife's affair. Nevertheless, he treated the children like his own. Knowing that he was not a 'man' himself, he allowed his wife to have an affair and what's more, he had to raise a son who was from another man. 

This man must had had gone through much pain and hurt to accept all these and losing the will to live was nothing than snuffing out a flickering fire. That's the end...

If only he knows that God loves him...

Thank God for His grace

Saying goodbye to Nicolas was hard. It has been a wonderful week working with him through five mornings. Though I was stressed with the preparation, I enjoyed teaching him. And after this week of teaching, I've finally found my own identity!

Previously, my feeling was like, "I am not an English, so I can't teach English. I am not a Malay, so I can't teach Bahasa Malaysia. I am a Chinese yet I don't read and write in Mandarin. What am I?" I was bogged down by those thoughts that I did not know what to do. When I had decided to leave 'languages' behind and turn over to something totally new, such as venturing into T-shirt printing or real estate, God sent someone to knock on  my door. 

She's a French looking for a private teacher for her son and viola, I was chosen! I've to stress that it's NOT pure luck but it was totally God's arrangement. It's by God's grace that I was selected among thousands and thousands of other better candidates out there. 

After my class, I cried a little while I was driving. I was so grateful to God for He took my disgrace away. When everyone else, including those closest to me, thought that I could not make it, I did it. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him, everything is possible! 

Thinking English while swimming

I have the honour to teach Nicolas, a ten-year-old boy from France for this whole week. As he has just changed from a French school to an international school, his English is as of those five-year-old. Never mind about that, he's cute and smart. He learns fast. 

For the first day, I had him design his own T-shirt with a fabric crayon. At the first look, it was horrible and I was thinking, "Would he wear this?" But after 20 minutes of drawing and colouring, viola! The T-shirt was brought to life! It was simply beautiful that left me with awe. 

Before I left, Nicolas' mom suggested swimming as part of the lesson to learn English. I was overwhelmed. Swim-and-learn-English? Is this a new lesson or what? I went online to search for games to play when one is swimming. There isn't much help. 

Finally, thank God for His creativity, I got the hint of finding something which could float for the boy to catch or read. And I came to the conclusion of having written papers inserted into clear empty bottles.

Before the game, I taught Nicolas about synonyms and when we reached the pool, I had all the bottles thrown into the pool. Nicolas had to swim to get a pair of bottles with the right synonyms. Eg. If he gets "beautiful" as the first bottle, he needs to find "pretty" and passed to me. The boy enjoyed the game while I enjoyed teaching. So, how about some synonyms in the pool? 

How to learn while having fun?

What makes you laugh? What makes you wanted to jump from the chair and rush to it? Those are the things that interest you and will motivate you to learn more about it. One of my friends is a great hobbyist. Once he falls in love with a hobby, he'll go an extra mile to learn about his hobby. For example, when he likes watches. He will learn about how to dismantle a watch and put all the parts together again. He will get contacts of professional watch repairers and get classes or advices from them. He will search through the internet and read all about watches. He will strive till there is nothing new for him to learn and yes, he is so good in watches that he knows whether one is genuine or a fake one by just one look. That is how one learns while having fun. 

What about children? Children like to imitate adults. They want to be adults. They want to do what adults are doing and get the feel of being adults. Therefore, "fun" for them is doing what adults are doing. If a constant "no" is being said to them, they will have low self-esteem and eventually lost interest in learning altogether. 

When I am cutting lady's fingers, my son came to the kitchen. He stood beside me and watched me carefully. I turned to ask, "Do you want to try?" He was elated. He must be thinking, "Can I?" I smiled at him and said, "Come on. Mama will teach you how to cut off the ends of lady's fingers." I taught him how to hold a knife and cut off the ends of lady's fingers and he did it. No accidents. I think my son enjoyed cutting the lady's fingers and he had fun cutting them. Through this activity, he not only learns how to cut a lady's finger but also enhances his hand-eye coordination, self-confidence and concentration. Isn't it great to have learnt so many things at one time?

Children learn throughout the day. They are like dry sponges ready to absorb whatever "water" we are giving them. So, it all depends on us as parents whether to give them a positive input or a negative one. We need to give confidence to the children on what they can do according to their ages. For example, children age two can be allowed to cut scrap papers using plastic scissors. 

My son likes to pay money at the counter. He feels like an adult. We are still in the midst of teaching him  how to recognise the different notes and coins. By being able to pay at the counter trigger him to learn what those notes and coins mean and as he learn, he has fun. 

How to teach students compositions?

I was so disappointed when my student's mom called the principal and told her that my student did not understand what I have taught her. I felt like my world was crumbling down and I lost all hope in teaching. 

It was merely three weeks that I saw my student's results and she had flashed a wide grin, saying that it was her first time getting a pass in her Bahasa Malaysia after all these years. Yes, it was her first time passing the subject after studying the language for four years. It did give me a lot of confidence and self-esteem because I have just taught her for three months and she passed. She even asked for a present which I did not promise. But I relented because if the result made her happy, it made me too. After my Thailand trip, I presented a dress to her and she was elated. 

Well, everything was fine till today! I felt the skies ahead turned gloomy and there was thunderstorm and lightning and heavy rain. My heart was raining. I did not cry till I got into my car. Thank God, Isaac was there consoling me and telling me, "Don't be sad. I am here." 

I called my friend and she told me that what I can do is to ask my student to memorise compositions. There is nothing much I can do when her level of understanding is so low and there is not much she can understand no matter how long I spend with her. 

I have always doubted memorising compositions a good way to good marks. To me, memorising a composition and later on spitting it all out in an examination is merely a test on how much the brain can remember. It kills creativity and also, the student's ability to think. Nevertheless, what my friend said was right, "They have too little vocabulary to start a composition with. They need to memorise in order to ''save'' the vocabulary into their brain. Later on, they'll be able to use the saved vocabulary in other compositions." 

I'll give it a try from next week onwards. Please do anticipate for the results of it...

How to earn you a close friend?

"It looks beautiful. You should keep it for yourself. Give your friend something else," said my Mom. 

"But what should I give to my friend?" I asked naively.

"Go to the shop behind the house and buy something else," advised Mom. 

I trotted as fast as my feet could take me. When I reached the shop, there was little time to choose something beautiful and I ended up buying a coin box. Next, I went home to have it wrapped up and asked Dad to take me to my friend's house. 

It was my friend's birthday and she was having a birthday party. I had always liked attending birthday parties because it meant food and games. Nevertheless, it also meant having to spend on a present for the friend. However, each time after purchasing something which I thought it suited my friend, my Mom would interfere and said that the present looked nice and I should keep it and advised me to buy another one for my friend. It happened many times until I lost my friends that I realised how selfish was that attitude of keeping the best to self and giving something poorly chosen for someone I called a "friend". 

I don't understand why my Mom has this flaw. The only reason I could think of was that she was from a very poor family and that whatever beautiful and nice and good were not available to her in her childhood. Frankly, I didn't know why I wanted the presents which I was suppose to give to my friends but since Mom said they were good, I kept them. It always made me feel embarrassed and shameful of my act. I felt like I've done something very wrong (keeping a secret from my friends) but I wasn't! How much of pressure have I gone through!

Thank God, I am able to give now. God is love and it is only with love that we are able to give sincerely and freely. When I give, I don't expect to get anything in return for I give because I am thankful I am able to give and to share and show my appreciation for the friendship. 

Come friends' birthday, I told  myself that I am not going to give cheapskate things for them. I wanted them to remember me, yes, me, ALICE TONG, as someone who is willing to give to good friends and not someone who would just want something good from others. I told my husband that my Mom's attitude of keeping the best to self is irritating, selfish and mean and she's bothering me when she keeps repeating to me to keep something "best" to myself. 

I hope Mom learn that keeping the best to herself won't win her any close friends...

(pic: a bangle-like bracelet that I bought for a friend I call a sister)

What is hand-eye coordination?

The term ‘hand-eye coordination’ to me was like an alien until my son was two years old. It was then that I put him in a Montessori and the principal explained to me the importance of hand-eye coordination. It saddened me how much I have missed before this. If I were to know it earlier, probably my son would have been better developed. From then on, I try to read more on childhood development and how different motor skills and coordination help in the children’s future learning ability.

Hand-eye coordination is the ability to guide the movement of the hands with the eyes. It is vital for the children to have hand-eye coordination because by the time children start to learn to write, their writing will stay within the lines. I have seen children who struggle writing within the lines although they have tried their best. To avoid such frustration, parents can try to stimulate their children’s hand-eye coordination right after they are born.

Although it is popular among parents, many people do not realise that cloth mat with objects hanging on it is a useful tool for training children’s hand-eye coordination. Infants who are allowed to lie down on the cloth mat will be attracted to the objects hanging above them. Being attracted by the colourful objects, they will stretch up their hands to grab them. Many times the babies will not be able to grab the objects but just manage to touch or push them. That is the start of how they train their hands to go to where their eyes are looking at.

For toddlers who already know how to sit up, they should be allowed to play lacing cards, stringing beads, nesting boxes, stacking cones, completing puzzles, kneading playdough or even cutting some recycled papers with the assistance of adults. One of my friends likes to let her daughters play pouring water or dry sand from one container to the other. The activities above not only stimulate the children’s hand-eye coordination but training the children to have patience and staying focused.

Older children are encouraged to be involved in outdoor playground activities such as climbing steel bars, monkey bars, slide, mock rock-climbing wall or balancing on a plank of wood. Besides the abovementioned activities, parents also can let children handle house chores such as washing the dishes (make sure the dishes are unbreakable), sweeping the floor or picking up toys.

It is vital for parents to understand the importance of hand-eye coordination and using the appropriate materials to develop their children’s coordination. Parents have to understand that well-developed hand-eye coordination and motor skills will provide a speedy learning ability when the children enter primary school. If the foundation is not strong, children will face difficulties in the future learning process, thus, pressure and frustrations will arise. 

The above article is published in The Star online newspaper:

http://parenthots.com/parents_corner/soapbox/Realising-the-importance-of-hand-eye-coordination.aspx

Huggies Dry Pants

Frankly, I am not a fan of diapers because they are expensive. I used to use cloth nappies for my baby's comfort and to save cost. However, changing cloth nappies after each urination and cleaning the soiled nappies exhausted  me and it has taken a toil on my health. Therefore, I have chosen Huggies Dry Pants and they are worth the money spent! In just three steps: tear, change and throw, Huggies Dry Pants save time and I can have my evening naps with ease. 

For mothers like me who want to have headache-free experience from soiled nappies and frustration from changing taped diapers, why not try Huggies Dry Pants. There is a road show going on from 25 February to 3 March in Mydin USJ titled Huggies Dry Pants Change for Better Convenience.

There are live performances, special promotions, giveaways, games, magic tricks and other activities to keep the babies and yourselves occupied and amazed. There is also a competition for those who wanted to try their hands on Huggies Dry Pants. They can join the Huggies 30 seconds Diaper Change Challenge at the road show.

Kids who are comfortable will be confident!

Latihan susun perkataan

Sebagai seorang tutor, saya amat mengambil berat tentang pemahaman pelajar-pelajar saya dalam struktur ayat. Pelajar perlu memahami struktur ayat untuk membolehkan mereka membina ayat yang gramatis. Oleh itu, saya selalu menyediakan latihan susun perkataan untuk mereka. Latihan susun perkataan boleh mengukuhkan pemahaman mereka dalam struktur ayat and memberi idea kepada mereka bagaimana ayat dibina. 

Berikut ialah contoh latihan susun perkataan yang saya sediakan. 

Latihan Bina Ayat

As a tutor myself, I find it difficult to find appropriate materials for my students to incorporate what I have taught them. Therefore, I prefer to prepare  my own exercises to enhance their understanding on the topic we have went through.

From my experience, my students are lack of vocabulary because English and Bahasa Malaysia are not their mother tongue as they are Chinese. They used to speak Chinese at home and in the school. Lacking vocabulary crippled their ability in making good sentences. Therefore, in my class, making sentences or bina ayat is not something new. I make sure my students learn new verbs or kata kerja and use them in the sentences making process.

Below is an example of exercises I've prepared for my students. I hope this will help you too.

God's Smuggler

It's simply amazing! Never had I read any non-fiction book with such thrill. Once it landed in my hands, I buried my face in it at every opportunity. Frankly, I don't get much time to read a day except when my son is taking his nap. 

Although excited, reading this book was slower than I had thought. This is due to the fact I had a pen and a ruler with me all the time underlining every miracle mentioned in the book. It was difficult to resist the urge to underline each miracle that I came across as I felt they touched me deeply. Each time the narrative, Brother Andrew, faced with a great new challenge, my heart raced faster than ever. Each challenge ended graciously, showing the work of God and how faith saved Andrew. 

This book alone speaks volume of God's grace, merciful love and most of all, His power and protection against all odds. I've cried tears of joy and thankfulness for being granted this book. I guess it's a calling from God to renew my faith in Him. 

Since there are too many miracles to mention here, I'll give an instance which I like very much. It was about the Volkswagon that Andrew used for the purpose of transporting Bibles. While he was on his way from East Germany to Poland, his car breathed its last. With him in the car were two Dutch students. He needed five hundred Marks to have the engine changed and another thirty Marks to purchase gasoline on the way home. However, after changing every last guilder, it all came to 470 Marks only. He walked back to the garage and as he could no longer hold the truth from the mechanic, the two students raced through the door, "one of them waiving something in his hand. 'Andy!' he shouted. 'Craziest thing ever happened to me! We were just walking along the street when this lady came up to us and asked if we were Dutchmen. When I said yes, she gave me this bill. She said God wanted us to have it!'

The bill was for fifty Marks." 

Isn't that fantastic? If you have just gasped at the miracle above, you're recommended to read the book yourself to take your breath away with dozens of other miracles in the book. 

BOOK TITLE : GOD'S SMUGGLER

AUTHOR        : Brother Andrew with John and Elizabeth Sherrill

PUBLISHER   : Hodder & Stoughton 
LOCATION    : Great Britain

The Enemy Within

It was an ordinary Sunday's afternoon after church service and I had the 'push' to visit my church's library for some inspiring and spirit-uplifting books. Within 10 minutes, I found this book, The Enemy Within. Well, who is that 'enemy' that the book is talking about? I think for most Christians, we know that it's our flesh and the sins that our flesh indulges into. 

As I read the book, I could not stop nodding my head in agreement with Kris Lundgaard who talks about the power and defeat of sin. 

Lundgaard's book consist of four parts. Part One is about power of sin, Part Two; how sin works in us, Part Three; The Power of Sin in What It Does and Part Four; Nailing the Lid on Sin's Coffin. Lundgaard starts the book with a story of himself wanting to surprise his wife. After some struggling moment through the job, he realised he did not have the necessary tool to finish it off. And it was then that his boys started a rivalry which caused him to lose his temper all at once. After that incident, he felt like a whipped puppy. With that, he quoted Paul in Romans 7:21, "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me." From there, Lundgaard proceeds to explain the truth in that verse and how true it is that in every heart, there is a law which draws us to sin. How often do you find yourself wanting to do good and the next minute, WHAM!, there goes our temper and conscience. 

I like how Lundgaard explains the soul which comprises the mind, the affections and the will. 

The mind is the sentinel, commanded to watch carefully over the soul by questioning, assessing, and making judgments: Will this please God? Is this according to God's Word? If the mind determines that an action is right, the affections should fall in line and desire, long for, and cling to that which the mind said was good. Last, the will puts the soul into action, carrying out what the mind said was good and the affections hungered for. If your mind is persuaded to believe a sin is good for your soul, and your affections work up an appetite for it, your will gives its consent - the dominoes fall and the flesh bears its putrid fruit in your life.   

(Lundgaard; 1998: 56)

The Enemy Within is easy to understand and Lundgaard's perfect use of metaphor and good writing encourage readers to put on their thinking cap. After each chapter, Lundgaard includes a section with questions for reflection and discussion. Therefore, it encourages one to search and read more of the Bible. 

Below is the information of the book: 

BOOK TITLE: The Enemy Within

AUTHOR       : Kris Lundgaard

PUBLISHER  : P&R Publishing

LOCATION   : United States of America 

Tears from the Iron Man

It is a custom for us to go to Johor every Chinese New Year (CNY) for a once-a-year reunion with my husband's family: parents, sisters and other relatives. Though we go back to Johor few times a year, the CNY reunion  brings a much different value to the family. As my husband's sisters are married to other states, we can only come together once a year to celebrate this festive and it had always brought pleasant memories. 

This year, however, I had some misunderstanding with my eldest sis-in-law. Deep inside me, I kept telling myself that, "it's OK. She was just nervous and anxious about the whole issue". On the other hand, I had asked my husband to get into the room and started a tantrum. Sometimes, it's weird that I knew something was wrong yet I continued to indulge in it. And the more I fed my indulgence, I wanted more and ended up calling one after another bus station to check on tickets back to KL. All I wanted was to show my self-existence, my power and authority as a human in that house. 

Heart was pumping fast, nerves were wrecking, and patience towards the situation was running low, I wanted immediate revenge. Within minutes I was already packing my clothings and going to the store room to get my wet clothes after my mother-in-law (Mama) morning wash. Mama was there and asked about what I was doing. I told her I was going to leave that place and she came after me and told my father-in-law  (Papa) who was at the second living hall taking a nap. 

Out of my expectation, both the parents came into our room, Papa crying and pleading us not to leave. "Please don't do like that. I am so old already. I don't know how many more reunions of this kind I would be able to see." Seeing tears flowing from this Iron Man that I knew, my heart twisted and wrenched in pain. Papa was an ex-navy and to what I knew, we had few words through the years and to me, he was one man with heart of steel. His tears proved  me wrong! He is made of flesh and blood just like any one of us though he speaks less with me. By then, Mama had already started crying and asking us to stay. The family will not be complete if one of them is missing. 

I felt sorry for both of them. I was wrong. I apologised to Papa and he told me, "Whatever it is, please overlook it. Don't keep it in the heart." I nodded.

Although Papa and Mama have few words with me, I feel I am actually part of them as well. How could the crave of self-existence be looked upon higher than love? 

"Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal."

(1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)

Whose responsibility?

After my morning shopping for a whole week of food, I went to the newspaper stall to get the latest news. What a shock when I saw all the major local newspaper are reporting on the death of the six-year-old, William Yau Zhen Zhong. 

William had been reported missing for more than a week and police were on their patrol and every media highlighted the issue wherever and whenever they can. Even people on Facebook shared William's photo and wished that this boy can be found safely and return home. Nevertheless, the nightmare we all feared has come alive - William was found dead!

Now the question is "How did he die?" Public is keen to find out the answer and the police just have to look out for the murderer or cause of William's death. It was another life. It was tragic. 

The aunty at the newspaper stall concluded that William's parents should not have left him in the car and went to shop themselves. They shouldn't and it would not have happened. But it was too late. 

We have had enough of parents leaving their children in the house for hours or asking their little children to run the errand or even forgetting that their children were asleep in the back seat of the car! These children died due to a "slight mistake" made by their parents and there were no turning back. Parents begged for forgiveness and I believe that the news of their children's death will haunt them for life. 

I've a son and I know how it feels it he were hurt. If only William's parents did not leave him in the car...If only William did not go down the car and went looking for his parents. If only William would be obedient to stay in the car, waiting patiently for his parents to return...If only this world will get better, the next generation would only be worse with less care and more negligence of what we should be doing.

A Maid

She has to wake up at 6am and starts to do housechores. This continues till 9am before she gets her breakfast. People say she is stupid because she could not understand simple command and  most of the time, she reacted to what is asked of her rather than being proactive on the tasks she needs to do. There and then, I thanked God that I am born in Malaysia, a place where if you're willing to work, you'll get money. Malaysia is good, if not better than third world countries where daughters are meant to be sent off to faraway countries to be maids to strangers. 

I keep asking myself, what will I do to a maid if I were to have one? There is very low possibility of having one for myself but I believe this assumption is needed here. If everyone can answer this assumption too, then, it will be a better world for both - the employer and maid. 

A maid is a human born by a mother. She has parents, just like we do and may or may not have siblings. She is ''sold'' here under contract in order to get money for the family. If she is extremely smart, she would get on top of your head. If she is slow, she might get changed and blacklisted as 'rejected item'. 

My mom and I also have high tolerance towards maids. Mom feels that if a maid is clever, she wouldn't have to come so far to earn money. She would have stayed in her homeland and get a job. Why the hassles of being transported to an unknown land and living with strangers with no or less contact with family members?Just imagine ourselves being sold as slaves to a faraway land. Forget about our father, mother, brother or sister. Day after day, work is awaiting us and so on....

Are we treating them as human? After talking with a maid, my heart was heavy with sadness. No doubt she was slow but I believe she wanted to try. My heart went to her at night with prayers, praying that Jesus may brighten her eyes and teach her how to do housechores better. I really hope that I can see her for the third time. 

It's a new year

It's the 1st of January again but on a different year.

I'll be older by a year and it also means a year closer to my death. Well, nobody knows at what age they'll die. I mean, you won't know it even if you have the greatest fortune teller to tell you so. Before my dad accepted Christ, he liked to visit fortune tellers. One of the fortune tellers told him that he would live to age 75. But what a shock when he knew that he was contracted with liver cancer at the age of 56 and died the same year! So, only God knows. 

Best wishes to everyone (as if I've a lot of readers here). I still wish to think and imagine someone is reading my blog and may this love and peace be passed on and on...