Stepping out of the circle

I did not shed a tear after my recent meeting with my supervisor.

For all I could remember, those meetings with my supervisor were horrible and unpleasant with demotivating comments. But the recent meeting brought smile to my face.

My supervisor scolded me for using recycled papers to print the drafts for her to check. In her view, I was not respecting her by using recycled paper. She also commented that using recycled paper showed that my mind is cluttered (what I submit shows my mind's condition). On my side, I was just doing the environment a little kindness (and also to save money). After all, the drafts would be in the rubbish dump after I amended my writing.  Although I didn't quite agree with her thinking, I've to admit that my mind was cluttered at that point of time. I smiled. The comment brought warmth and I thought how funny human's thinking differ from each other.

For all the comments I got through the years like 'stupid', 'brainless', 'rubbish' and so forth, 'cluttered mind' was the easiest to swallow.

I wondered whether I would have continued my journey in the banking industry if I were able to take a step out of the circle then when I was criticised. I wished I would have replied, "Stupid? Who? Me?"

I've to stress that, without Jesus Christ, I don't think I could have done it.

God not only carried me out of the circle but also provided me with TWO very lovely lecturers from overseas that I got to know through the world of web to answer my stupidest questions which I think my supervisor would have shouted her lung out for even asking!

Thank you, Jesus Christ. Thank you so much!
I might be stupid but you've never abandoned me.

What is the right question to ask?

Recently I am extremely busy with my thesis (which seems to take forever to finish).

I joined a discussion group on the field I am researching and asked several questions.

For the first time, my questions were answered by my supervisor. (Question like 1+1)

Then, the second time, my questions were answered with another question. (Question like 1+1-1)

Well, the questions I asked might seem so simple to the group but to me, it's tough enough to make me sleepless.

I wondered whether the group will think or would have thought that I am so stupid as not to understand a thing in the thing I am researching.

So, what should I ask if not the things I don't understand? Who is the stupidest? The person who asks questions he/she doesn't understand or the person who keeps quiet on the thing he/she doesn't understand?