It came to me all of a sudden to think of what is passion, lust and love last week when my mind was idling while listening to the classical music. Many old memories came back to me. Yes, happy and sad. Those happy ones usually followed by sadness and most often, made me cried endlessly for weeks and months.
It all started with passion. I think most of the relationships start with passion. When we like someone, we blaze inside, the burning hot feeling and excitement each time that person appear.
This very guy, whom my friends thought to be casual had touched my heart. To me, he was someone special. He made his effort to give me surprises such as calling up after school and waiting eagerly in front of the kindergarten we both attended as children with a pack of Chipmores I mentioned during our chat the evening before. We cycled round the houses and chatted through the evening when there was no school. Everything was perfect. I on my side, tried to please him by making small souvenirs like stars as best wishes for his exams, cut my fingers while carving his Chinese name on a board to make a bookmark for him, wrote him letters, waited each evening for his call until 1am...
But just weeks later, after he came back from a camp, he called up to say he was sorry. It was like a dream and it was not meant to be. That was the end of the whole 'relationship'. I cried endlessly on my part and hoped he would return. I did all I could to salvage the lost feelings - the PASSION he once had with me but to no avail. Unlike me, he'd lost the passion and because love was not there, he lost interest in me while I was waiting stupidly for him and almost gave up my pre-varsity entry requirement exams.
I understand when people say, "I'm tired. So tired in this relationship." It is because when the passion has gone, and when love does not exists, there is nothing one can do to salvage the relationship.
Passion is so much different from Love. Passion is just a "hush" - a feeling of wanting to be with that person so eagerly that whatever you do, you'll be thinking of that person. It all comes from what we see. When we change our environment, we'll lost that kind of passion. Just for example, after the camp, my guy lost the passion towards me. He knew that I was not the girl he wanted. Maybe he'd seen another or many other more popular girls during the camp. Who knows? That's passion. Easy come, easy go. And usually, one of the party will be hurt... I was pressured into thinking about my unpleasant look. I did everything I could to make myself pleasant each time when I went out to meet him. It was so stressful though it was a meeting I was looking forward to but whenever I came home, I would be stressed out.
Love on the other hand uses the brain + heart, just like the promises couples made in front of the God on their wedding day: whether rich or poor, healthy or sick, young or old, etc. we'll still love each other and till death do us part.
When I look back, I understood why God gave me this husband. I believe no one would love me more than he could. As I was in crib condition during my early pregnancy, I did not get out of bed unless for toilet and food and occassionally TV, my husband had to make sure I've food on time for dinner. He would came to the toilet to check what I vomitted though he was in the midst of eating. And now, in the 5th month of pregnancy, my husband still make sure I eat on time and never forgets to kiss this FAT lady before going to work each morning. I could not imagine if I were with that very first guy...First, I would have to wake up earlier than him because I would not want to look ugly in front of him. Then, secondly, I would be so stressed up that I could not eat because I'm getting fatter each day during my pregnancy. Thirdly, he might not allow me to stay at home until my delivery.
When people say, "Love is blind", it does not mean doing all kinds of crimes along with your love one or committing suicide. It means being blind to that person's weaknesses. My husband is "blind" to my burping while I would be "blind" to his farting. Ha ha! It is because of our weaknesses that we learn to complement each other. My husband is weak in English and I would be there to help him while I'm low in self-esteem, my husband will be there to hug and encourage me with God's word.
I could not have stand up to be myself if it is not because of my husband who LOVES me as I am. If there was only passion in our relationship, my husband would have left me when he got to know my weaknesses. But we are learning each day on how to LOVE each other.
We love because God loves us first.
Note: if you're trying to figure out whether you really love someone, try changing environment. Eg. Going somewhere for holidays and get to know more friends (especially the opposite gender). Passion usually sparks up easily with new friends and subside when that person is out of sight.
Love is created and crafted each day with effort...
It all started with passion. I think most of the relationships start with passion. When we like someone, we blaze inside, the burning hot feeling and excitement each time that person appear.
This very guy, whom my friends thought to be casual had touched my heart. To me, he was someone special. He made his effort to give me surprises such as calling up after school and waiting eagerly in front of the kindergarten we both attended as children with a pack of Chipmores I mentioned during our chat the evening before. We cycled round the houses and chatted through the evening when there was no school. Everything was perfect. I on my side, tried to please him by making small souvenirs like stars as best wishes for his exams, cut my fingers while carving his Chinese name on a board to make a bookmark for him, wrote him letters, waited each evening for his call until 1am...
But just weeks later, after he came back from a camp, he called up to say he was sorry. It was like a dream and it was not meant to be. That was the end of the whole 'relationship'. I cried endlessly on my part and hoped he would return. I did all I could to salvage the lost feelings - the PASSION he once had with me but to no avail. Unlike me, he'd lost the passion and because love was not there, he lost interest in me while I was waiting stupidly for him and almost gave up my pre-varsity entry requirement exams.
I understand when people say, "I'm tired. So tired in this relationship." It is because when the passion has gone, and when love does not exists, there is nothing one can do to salvage the relationship.
Passion is so much different from Love. Passion is just a "hush" - a feeling of wanting to be with that person so eagerly that whatever you do, you'll be thinking of that person. It all comes from what we see. When we change our environment, we'll lost that kind of passion. Just for example, after the camp, my guy lost the passion towards me. He knew that I was not the girl he wanted. Maybe he'd seen another or many other more popular girls during the camp. Who knows? That's passion. Easy come, easy go. And usually, one of the party will be hurt... I was pressured into thinking about my unpleasant look. I did everything I could to make myself pleasant each time when I went out to meet him. It was so stressful though it was a meeting I was looking forward to but whenever I came home, I would be stressed out.
Love on the other hand uses the brain + heart, just like the promises couples made in front of the God on their wedding day: whether rich or poor, healthy or sick, young or old, etc. we'll still love each other and till death do us part.
When I look back, I understood why God gave me this husband. I believe no one would love me more than he could. As I was in crib condition during my early pregnancy, I did not get out of bed unless for toilet and food and occassionally TV, my husband had to make sure I've food on time for dinner. He would came to the toilet to check what I vomitted though he was in the midst of eating. And now, in the 5th month of pregnancy, my husband still make sure I eat on time and never forgets to kiss this FAT lady before going to work each morning. I could not imagine if I were with that very first guy...First, I would have to wake up earlier than him because I would not want to look ugly in front of him. Then, secondly, I would be so stressed up that I could not eat because I'm getting fatter each day during my pregnancy. Thirdly, he might not allow me to stay at home until my delivery.
When people say, "Love is blind", it does not mean doing all kinds of crimes along with your love one or committing suicide. It means being blind to that person's weaknesses. My husband is "blind" to my burping while I would be "blind" to his farting. Ha ha! It is because of our weaknesses that we learn to complement each other. My husband is weak in English and I would be there to help him while I'm low in self-esteem, my husband will be there to hug and encourage me with God's word.
I could not have stand up to be myself if it is not because of my husband who LOVES me as I am. If there was only passion in our relationship, my husband would have left me when he got to know my weaknesses. But we are learning each day on how to LOVE each other.
We love because God loves us first.
Note: if you're trying to figure out whether you really love someone, try changing environment. Eg. Going somewhere for holidays and get to know more friends (especially the opposite gender). Passion usually sparks up easily with new friends and subside when that person is out of sight.
Love is created and crafted each day with effort...
