Monday, February 16, 2009

Pessimistic Life

To what can I compare my disappointment? I don't know.

Today while I sat with three girls at a foyer, I heard their conversation. I was trying to concentrate in my book but these girls talked so loudly that I could hardly get a word into my head.

I got to know that these girls are committee members from societies in the varsity and hold high positions. They are glamourous, beautiful, smart and active in their extra curricular activities. They even planned to go to Japan for the coming holiday!

I bit my lips listening to their conversation. I felt disappointment creeping through me. I didn't join any extra curricular activities during my varsity years. I didn't try to enjoy every moment as an undergraduate then. I was just rushing through time and wished I could finish as soon as possible. Nothing in the varsity that happened worth me remembering.

These girls had "great fathers". Their fathers are either politicians or businessmen. That's what makes them what they are. I don't blame my parents for what I am now. It's just that I was born a pessimistic and would not see things the bright side. I felt like I'm doomed to be called a LOSER! I don't dare to work for what I want. I don't dare to even ASK for what I want. It's all too late.

I missed my youth, my varsity, my first job, my dreams... If only I'm an optimistic, I would be somewhere else...SOMEONE else by now but I'm not.

I'm still here, slumped into my comfort zone, afraid to go get what I wanted.

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