Day 7: Mood swing

ROUND 1: When I was in the church today, pastor had a small talk with me. She said she had wished to call me but it was not so convenient to talk through the phone in the office as there are always people in the office and she didn't want anyone to eavesdrop on our conversation. So, she said she'll look for a suitable day to pay me a visit. But her main point of talking with me was to remind me to be selective when looking for friends to share my family problem. She feared that I share with someone who might spread my family problems to others or have prejudice towards my husband. It made me guilty and I could sense it running through my spine. 

While sitting at the corridor waiting for my son to come out of the toilet, my mind was running while on who was the one friend that pastor tried to hint me not to tell her anything. I didn't know and it's important that I find it out rather than sulking for the whole day. At that moment, I saw pastor walking out of the canteen and I called out to her. She turned back and I asked her. She told me it's better not to tell anyone though best buddies about family problems as they might not be able to provide the best solutions or advices. I should be looking for pastor or counselors for professional advices. Ahem....

ROUND 1: TOTAL KNOCKED OFF

ROUND 2: It was not like me for the rest of the day. I was moody. It's like end of the world. Yes, I did went to Daiso, one of the shops I like the most but it didn't help. I just look through things and after more than 30 minutes, I came out of thr shop buying just a pair of sponges - having plans to wash my own car. Next I bought car wash shampoo and fast wax. I wanted to buy a car vacuum cleaner also but didn't. I shouldn't buy it when my husband was around. So, car wash was enough at the moment. And it was a long queue to get stamps. When I was queuing, I asked the man in front of me, "What's the stamps for actually? It's my first time." He answered that if we get 10 stamps we can get RM5 voucher. OK. so, you'll have to spend RM300 to get 10 at also which only gives you a return of RM5. But still, everyone is lining up for it. RM5 meant so much now...life is hard. We have gotta save save save...it didn't help me to feel better.

ROUND 2: TOTAL KNOCKED OFF

ROUND 3: when we were on the way out of the shopping centre, my baby daughter wanted to try to play the pushchair with a baby inside. I pulled her away because I feared she might spoil it and we have to pay for it. Oh, how I wanted to buy for her. But we need to save. It's tearing me apart. I feel exhausted to move on even another day...

ROUND 3: ............................................