Other Perspectives

As my husband and I came out from the clinic after bringing our son, Isaac, to check on his fever, we saw policemen at the other side of the road and a crowd of people.

“It must be robbery,” I said, assuming it because the crowd was in front of Public Bank.

I took the opportunity to ask around when my husband went to buy bread. I went to the steamboat restaurant and to the owner who was sitting there with her sister and friends.

I stood near their table and pretended to look to the other side of the road. Then, at some point, I asked, “Is it robbery?”

The owner replied that it was a burglary. The burglar was very young, only at his thirties. When he was found, he quickly jumped from the second floor of the apartment. Then, he ran to the other side of the road. Nevertheless, luck was not on his side. It must be his broken leg(s) that had stopped him from running and he was caught.
 

The owner said with a sad face and sighed. “It’s such a pity. He is such a young man.”

I smiled. My husband was coming my way. I bid farewell to the restaurant owner and left. 

 

As we were walking home, I told my husband the whole incident. My husband also listened with a heave of sigh.

 

Is there something wrong for pitying a burglar? From our point of view, we were thinking of all other possibilities that he chose to steal and not the fact that he STOLE. Maybe he has a family member that needed money urgently. Maybe he was too depressed and could find no way to solve his financial problem. But does that mean he can steal?
 

While I can choose to be a stay-at-home mother and housewife, men have to work. They have to bear the family’s burden. A friend of mine said that sleep is something that scare him for after a sleep, he has to face TOMORROW with more to pay. He once said, “Even if I don’t eat, I’ll still need money to pay for the car, the house and bills. I’m so scare, so scare to fall asleep.”
 

Another friend who is working in Singapore also said almost the same thing. “I am so scare. So scare that even when I have slept, I will be awaken by the fear that we have no food tomorrow.” This friend has a wife and son and they live in Johor but the husband works in Singapore and travels to and fro every day. The truth is, he has been working there almost 20 years and the clock is ticking away. Will he be a factory worker all his life and I doubt the factory will want a 50 year-old man to do the job when they can hire a 20 year-old lad who is more efficient. 

 

I understand how they feel. Though I was not them, I understood. My father was one. He played around and enjoyed his life. He depended his life, and even our lives on his mother, my grandmother. When my grandmother passed away, the whole world collapsed. My father had to grow up – he can’t be mommy’s boy anymore. He had to work and work hard enough for the family of four. When I was faced with critics and condemnations from my superior while working at a local bank, I cried most of the time and wanted to quit. My father would always tell me that I should not. “It is not worth quitting for such a high paying job”. Then he would start to tell me his proud story on how he stood against his superior and still worked in the same company. “No one can fire me as long as I don’t fire myself.”

Those days…

Not many are as thick faces as my father. He can face his enemy everyday without fear. While my husband didn’t need to face with a difficult superior, he needs to face with difficult clients from the condos or offices he manages. I can still remember when I was pregnant with Isaac, my husband was called at near midnight because there was no water supply in a condo that he manages. He had to stay in the condo’s hall for the whole midnight and several other midnights when the same thing happened again until the water supply was sufficient for the residents. Well, he didn’t mind working but the fact that after giving the best and yet, the unappreciative residents shouted in the phone for the incidents made me sad. At that moment, I realised…I realised that though it may be difficult to work, yet, MEN have to WORK for the family. They’ll learn to THICKEN their face in order for the family to survive.


Now, to me, FACE THICKENING COURSE only applies for those with SPM level or lower. As I can see from the trend, those with degrees or higher certifications cannot take much scoldings. To them, “if ‘bo song’ (Hokkien), I’ll leave.”


Is that so?


Why some people have to steal?
Why some people have to endure the condemnations, scolding and thicken their faces to face it?
Why some people can just leave their high paying job for the sake of ‘face’?

Why some people with higher education have lesser toleration towards office politics?
Why some people have a lot and yet wanted more?
 

Coincidentally, I find that the verses that I read yesterday in my Bible give me some light.

 

Matthew 6:26-27



Matthew 7:12
Do for others what you want them to do for you.

May you find real peace...