Monday, July 6, 2015

A Teary Mom

"I am sorry, Isaac, I'm sorry. I'm an angry mom and a sad mom. I'm sick but I don't want to take medicine because medication will only make me go to sleep and be tired all the time. I want to depend on God alone to recover." 

That's what I told Isaac before he fell asleep just now. I couldn't stop myself from sobbing as I lay beside his sleepy head. He moved closer to me and threw his arm over my shoulder, giving assurance that he understood me. He was exhausted and within minutes, he fell into a deep sleep. 

I stopped crying then until I came to my blog to write this. I don't understand why I am always teary. I am teary since a girl. My mom couldn't understand why too and often scolded me for being a cry baby and being superstitious, always said I brought her bad luck for crying too much. I wish I know why I am so teary. I wish I can be a happy girl like my friends. 

I didn't have a happy childhood. I don't want to blame my mom for being too teary and affected me subconsciously but where do I seek help? I cried so much that during my childhood that I was afraid I would be blind one day due to crying. 

I even asked my science stream friend, "Do you think I would become blind by crying too much?" 
He answered, "I don't know. Tears are salt. Probably you can take more salt to prevent blindness." And we laughed. 


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