This is the tenth month that I stay at home. Maybe I have too much time to myself that's why I am having the on and off mood swing. I feel like nobody is caring about me. No friends, no church members and not even family members.
Mom is away, with her sisters, enjoying her life while brother is working like a mule somewhere out there. My husband, is here, at home but it makes no difference because we have so less to talk about. He is tired all the time and would rather spend time doing his Sudoku which is meant to "relieve" his stress, so he said. While I, would day dream or look at the TV blankly, or keep replaying the same CD for my baby to listen.
Everyday seems to be the same for me, Monday to Saturday. Sunday is quite exceptional because I'll be going to church and seeing a lot more people. Otherwise, it would be the same too.
If I were to go to my sis-in-law's house, I would have to be extra careful for not saying the wrong thing. otherwise, I would be fired back. Hence, it would be advisable to KEEP THE MOUTH SHUT. I don't understand why she could be so "friendly" and "kind" to the friends while she could be so disrespectful in scolding me! Am I owing her anything? We did ask her if she has any baby's items which she would like to give out. Yes, we are taking in hands-me-down from her but that doesn't mean she can scold me whenever she feels like it. I feel being offended yet what can I say?
I found that I speak lesser and lesser. There is no point of talking because no one care to listen. I do not know, but this feeling of loneliness keeps haunting me and make me weaker by days...
But I keep reminding my baby, yes, even if the whole world would abandon you, remember that there will still be someone to hold to - our God, Jesus. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
Mom is away, with her sisters, enjoying her life while brother is working like a mule somewhere out there. My husband, is here, at home but it makes no difference because we have so less to talk about. He is tired all the time and would rather spend time doing his Sudoku which is meant to "relieve" his stress, so he said. While I, would day dream or look at the TV blankly, or keep replaying the same CD for my baby to listen.
Everyday seems to be the same for me, Monday to Saturday. Sunday is quite exceptional because I'll be going to church and seeing a lot more people. Otherwise, it would be the same too.
If I were to go to my sis-in-law's house, I would have to be extra careful for not saying the wrong thing. otherwise, I would be fired back. Hence, it would be advisable to KEEP THE MOUTH SHUT. I don't understand why she could be so "friendly" and "kind" to the friends while she could be so disrespectful in scolding me! Am I owing her anything? We did ask her if she has any baby's items which she would like to give out. Yes, we are taking in hands-me-down from her but that doesn't mean she can scold me whenever she feels like it. I feel being offended yet what can I say?
I found that I speak lesser and lesser. There is no point of talking because no one care to listen. I do not know, but this feeling of loneliness keeps haunting me and make me weaker by days...
But I keep reminding my baby, yes, even if the whole world would abandon you, remember that there will still be someone to hold to - our God, Jesus. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
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