Balanced diet breakfast

Another healthy balanced diet breakfast...😁

Carbo - fried 10 grains rice

Protein - hard boiled egg

Minerals - cube carrot, sweet corn & green beans 

I wonder how long I could keep up with this. Huh! Huh! 😅😅

Philosophy of the day: Try till you get it right!

I'm a hoarder. I like to keep things. When I was younger, I didn't like my dad keeping old things because it made the house messy and full of rubbish. But now that I'm older, I understood. We keep because some bring back old memories, some are still useful and most of all, we have the idea that "we might need them ONE OF THE DAY." 

So, I have loads of plastic containers. Rectangle and round ones. Today when I needed a round one, I took one out but the cover just didn't fit. Because there are loads of them, I had to try one cover after another. 

It reminded me of a lesson:

DON'T QUIT TRYING. You'll eventually find the RIGHT ONE. And I did! 😊

Hand made bags

Hmm... I should take photos of the pouches that I have sewn before giving them away. 

Frankly, I feel a bit embarrass to give them away as Christmas gifts because someone dear to me keeps saying they're just not good enough. 

Yesterday, I had a chat with my best buddy. And she's always good at assuring me that what's matter is the effort and love put into making them. And she suggested that I venture into sewing pencil cases because she likes them! She won't mind how they look as long as they're practical with many pockets and space to keep all stationeries in. 

💪💪 Now, instead of giving up, I feel inspired to try on new style and patterns. 🙏

Note: Words can either build or break someone. Use them wisely! 😉

Have a great weekend! 🌈

How does God answer me?

I asked God a question. He didn't answer me straightaway. 

But today, He did. 

I went to a place which I was not familiar with and I used Waze as my guide. Because I trusted the signboards better, I refused to follow Waze completely and had a detour and got stuck in the jam for more than an hour. During that one hour, I passed by many old buildings. If it was not because of the detour, I wouldn't have taken that route. I wished I had been more "obedient" to the Waze. 😰

I was quite amused that I wasn't really mad or frustrated at myself as I used to be. 😏

In fact, I had peace. What I had in mind was that everything is in God's hand, be it good or 'bad' at the moment because all would settle perfectly in the end. 

As the traffic began to ease, I passed by a building and many memories started to flash back to live. My heart was flooded with tears. Oh my! 

My God is so great! He knows me more than anyone does, even more than I know myself. When I was convinced that no words from the lips of human or even books could penetrate through my heart which was saturated with hurts, pain, anger and disappointment, no words were needed. Just the building brought back many memories that are able to erase all the hurts and revive love.

What can I say? My God knows so well what is the best way to melt my heart at the right time and the right place. He works miraculously! Praise The Lord. 🙌🙌🙏

Backside vs. Back

Backside VS Back

Today while waiting for my son who was competing in a challenge, the head invigilator announced, "Invigilators, please stand at the backside." 

The parents who were sitting behind me laughed immediately. Though it was not heard by the head invigilator, I felt they shouldn't have acted so. 

The husband and wife then discussed about the word "backside" used by the head invigilator. While I understood that she meant "后面”, it is totally different from 'the back' in English. 

"Backside" in English = bottom or buttocks which you sit on. 

The mistake is due to the direct translation of "面” to "side". Chinese use "面” in all directions which differs from English which don't. 

前面 = the front 

后面 = the back 

上面 = on top / above

下面 = under / below 

So, you can say, please stand at the back but not "please stand at the backside." 

And the main point of this sharing is, none of us is perfect. We shouldn't laugh at others when they make mistakes in languages as all of us are learning and learning is a progress. It never stops. I'm sure the head invigilator has better Mandarin than I do or the parents sitting behind me.

Please line up...

Queue up, please..

My whole family moved to Setapak 17 years ago. I took public bus to the city to work when I was 24. I had to be at the bus stop at 6:30am or I would be late for my 8:30am work. Taking bus was not something fancy because the bus stopped at every stop to pick up people and we were most often sandwiched between each other than getting a seat. Nevertheless, the most unforgettable experience was the moment of stepping and being stepped on while getting on the bus. It was no surprise that NO ONE actually line up for the bus. When the bus came, everyone rushed to it, elbowed and stepped on each other to get on it. It was like a WAR each morning! 

Now, fast forward 12 years later, I was impressed to see the TAR College students lined up for their bus to the college. Well, I don't remember seeing this before. But ever since the bus stop was renovated or upgraded with roof top, the people lined up. Or maybe, once upon a time in Setapak, there was a HERO that started the principle of lining up and hence, everyone does it today. 

I believe that not many like to line up. They line up just because they have no choice but to follow the majority. So, for a LINE UP culture, someone has to start it, and others support it. 

It is disheartening to see people nowadays jump queue at traffic lights or toilets or anywhere if they could find an excuse to do so. 

We should "upgrade" our mentality like how we wanted to upgrade our facilities.

Civilized mentality?

Nothing is better than waking up earlier than usual and taking a very deep, deep soak in God's words. 

And after that, it's time to fulfill the physical needs (to reduce the fats in the belly!😱). I enjoy going for a walk of nature rather than cycling on the stationary bike. 

While walking around the lake, we enjoyed the gentle breeze. Hand in hand with my little girl, we saw green grasses and the big fat cat that was sleeping on it, enjoying its morning nap. It's amazing to see water lily grows amidst muddy and rubbish-filled lake. We also enjoyed looking at the birds flying freely in the air. Alas, I don't have a good camera to capture the birds in motion. Otherwise you might be able to enjoy the beauty of nature from pictures too. 

And then, an uncle walked pass us. He was wearing just slippers but it was fine for him. Not having branded sports shoes didn't stop him from going for a morning walk. 

It feels good to go back to the nature. It's so true that nature speaks of the mighty hands of our Creator. And thence, our thanksgiving for every little thing in our daily life. 

P/s: btw, I was wondering why people like to treat FREE things as something cheap? shouldn't we appreciate even more of the FREE lake? The FREE fresh air? Look at the rubbishes in the lake and around it and everywhere. What makes us simply throw our rubbishes- out of the car, on the road, into the river or lake, etc. etc?

Roasted honey chicken

Easy yet delicious! 😍

Roasted honey chicken

No frying or oil is needed. Just put everything in the oven for 30 minutes and then brush on honey and bake for another 10 mins and here they are!

Mackerel fish paste

You don't learn this in school...😝

I've seen my mom making mackerel fish paste and I told myself that I am not gonna do this in my life. It was simply too messy and too "complicated" for a simple person like me. I could buy it from the market with just RM14 a pack. 

Although the fish paste from the market smelled fishy and tasted fishy, I had no choice but to continue buying from the fishmonger. 

Last month my sister in law gave me two fish...I had no inkling what type of fish was that. So I had the first one steamed. And it ended up that the whole family had a VERY VERY frustrating dinner because the fish was full of tiny little bones and it was such a hazard to feed the fish to the little one. 

In frustration, my husband said, give the other one to Hooi Thiam please. I asked my sister in Christ, Hooi Thiam, and she asked me, "Is it 'sai-tou' fish? It is a very delicious fish if you make it into fish balls."

Then she started to teach me how to un-flesh the fish and so on... Following her instructions, I tried for the first time in my life to make fish paste. It wasn't good but at least we had a good dinner without bones.

Being one that didn't want to give up, I bought mackerel fish and tried again. The second time ended up bad as well because I added too much of water. I called up my friend and asked her some more - wishing to pick up on details which I had missed previously. 

And today, I bought mackerel again. I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP! 💪💪

And TA-DA!!! This is the first successful mackerel fish paste and there will gonna be more and more and more by God's grace...🙏😊

I have to give special thanks to my sis in Christ who is always ready to teach me something I never learned in the school. And I can't praise the Lord enough to let me have a friend like her so that I can taste the love of Christ and smell the fragrance of Him. 🌈

Zipper bags

Phew! Finally... I've completed two zipper bags to be used as busy bags for my son. ✌️

I wanted to save some money from buying. But I used almost 1 and a half hour from cutting the fabric to sewing. Is it worth the time? 

Fun & Cheer is selling bags this size for RM2-3 each only. 

😣 feeling confused

Laugh again, hope again

When someone asks you, "How are you?", what would you say? Most often than not, we would say, "I am fine, thank you." And that's what we taught our kids too. 

As I was reading the book, "Laugh Again, hope again", I was exhilarated. Yes, I definitely need this booster. 

Human is so superficial nowadays. We asked questions but we didn't really want to listen to the answers. Everyone is so busy. We would "touch & go" on a subject rather than having a lengthy talk about it. And even when we opened up, we may retreat when we sense that the other person may not like what we are saying. 

According to John Powell's "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?", there are five levels of communication which are presented in a concentric circles, from the most shallow (outer circle) to the deepest (smallest circle at the core). 

Level 5, the outer circle and the most basic one is called cliche conversation. Eg. How are you? 

Level 4: report facts. There is no personal, self-revelatory commentary. Eg. Little tales about others 

Level 3: ideas and judgment. May retreat if the listener raise an eyebrows or yawn. 

Level 2: feelings. 

Level 1: absolute honesty and openness (usually between spouses)

We rarely reach level 2. And to be exact, we may not even be able to stay in level 3. That's a pity. We rarely open up our feelings and be authentic! If we are open, we fear we will get hurt. So we rather closed up. 

We fear to be too authentic. We fear to reveal our weaknesses because we don't know what would the other person think of us. We don't want others to think less of us. 

Worries, stress and fear steal our joy away! 

It's so true. I was always worrying what the other person might think of me. Would she think I'm crazy? Would she think I am incapable of handling a task because I'm depressed? If not, why is she distancing herself? Why did she say what she said? Shouldn't friends be authentic to each other, without hiding any feelings? 

Well, I've been worrying too much. Why should I put my joy in the hands of others? Why did I put my joy solely by looking and keep rehearsing the expressions of a friend (keep yawning😵😵) in my mind? Ok. I guess she's being authentic by not hiding herself under the table to yawn. 😬

That's enough. 

Joy here I come! 🌈 praise the Lord for there's rainbow after the rain.

The hand of God

What do you do when you are in need and there was no one around and your phone was not working?

My heart was breaking. I wanted to cry but I was too busy fumbling with my phone. I wanted to talk. I wanted to talk to a close friend and poured out my bitterness. But the phone was not working and it made me even more desperate. Some time later, I gave up. I slumped myself on the floor and looked at the sky blankly. My heart was wrenching and no words could come out of my mouth. Tears started of flow freely and all I could mutter were "My Lord" and "Jesus". 

After some time, I was filled with peace. A peace that said that the problem still exists but I do not have to face it alone. God was with me. He was and He is and He will be with me! Nothing feel better than the affirmation from God. 

I thought I depended on God. But I didn't. At least not 100%. When I faced with difficulties, I looked for friends to share with me rather than God. But when God closed other doors, I had nothing but Him alone and that's when I knew, ALL I NEED IS HIM ALONE. 

I am in God's hand. Whatever that has happened, happened for a reason. And I can be rest assured that God is watching over me!

Fail-proof plants

Planting taugeh (spring onion too) is so satisfying because you will never fail in planting one! 😅

Failure is a name we don't like yet we have to face it. I salute my friends who can brave through many trials without giving up. 

The key word may be 

PERSISTENCE

CONSISTENCE

FAITH 

HOPE

LOVE

I love to see my plants grow in their little pots. They reminded me that life is like plants too, here today and maybe gone tomorrow. 

Love the people around us.

Live the life with wisdom, a life with direction and a godly life.

The traffic monster

He tore off his mask and revealed his hideous monstrosity features underneath his handsome suit. His eyes were blood red and he was fuming with anger. He bared his teeth and showed his fangs. When the light turned green, Arffffggh!!! He sprinted forward and blocked the whole passage, not allowing anyone to cross over. And seeing this, those behind him follow suit and all, clenched their knuckles while marching forward. Unity is power and so, they blocked the whole passage to their heart delight. No guilt. No conscience. 

There was no justice. Law was broken. In fact, what is law to these monsters? 

Well, you can see this act along Jalan Sentul at 8am or I believe, any roads with traffic lights and terrible jam. 

Though rested after a night, their heart were faint, the bodies aching and exhausted. They did what they did because being selfish was "right" when everyone is doing the same thing. 

We are human, imperfect human. Though living in a civilized society, we still acted uncivilized. When push comes to shove, we would do anything to achieve our needs than of others. We need to be constantly watched to keep our masks intact or we will reveal our monstrous features. 

I believed many of us get stuck on the road often. And sometimes, it was due to selfish people who blocked the whole road when there was obviously no space to move forward. And when our light turned green, we couldn't go because our road was blocked by that hideous monster. And sometimes, people just stopped at the yellow box, not allowing others to pass by, "just-to-be-sure" that no one can cut into their lane. 

Where is love? Where is patience? Where is kindness?

Yesterday I went to the market and asked for dried chilies to cook curry. The old uncle took out a box of dried chilies and said, "Here you are..choose..."

I said, "Uncle, I just need three."

He replied kindly, "Sure, choose la..."

And after taking three from the box, I asked the price. He said, "It's ok. Just take it."

I smiled and said, "It's a business, uncle. I should pay."

He asked for 10 cents. 

A small gesture of kindness is like a candle. Though burning oneself, it illuminates the whole room and let others see things clearly. How good it is if this baton of kindness can be passed on from one person to the next...

May you drive with patience and kindness tomorrow...

Discontentment and envy

I first started out my blog with the hope that it would draw readers from around the world and I would then be able to earn through their clicks on the ads. But how foolish or naive I have been! I spent endless hours on cooking and taking photographs and typing out the recipes and so forth but whenever I checked my income, I found that I had not even earned a single cent, I was angry, disappointed, sad, lousy...

Then I told myself, regrets upon regrets, I shall never do the same foolish thing. I started with a wrong motive! Earning income is nothing wrong but earning income at the expense of neglecting my son? My son was around 2 when I first started this blog. I was angry when he woke from his nap which interrupted my work. I neglected him to prepare dishes that's complicated. I was not found when he needed me most. What was I doing? In the hope to make a daily entry for my blog so that it could be seen at the top of the search page. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make it to the top. Well, obviously someone who's great in IT is paid to do such job and as poor as I am, how could I afford to pay to be at the top and then wait...wait for the opportunity to earn cents through clicks?

Today, I read a popular blog. Again, I felt, why can people do it but not me? I was green with envy. 

I lack confidence, consistence and persistence. 

I gave up on things too easily. But I told myself, I will try again. But this time, I won't do it on the expense of my kids because my kids are worth far greater than money. When they need me, I will be there. I will put this down and be with them...

True counsel

Yesterday was a day I had waited for since early of the month. An old friend contacted me to ask whether I would be free for a date yesterday and after checking through with my husband and my mom, I confirmed the date. I had to make sure my husband had no meeting so he could be at home to look after the kids. I had to make sure my baby was asleep before I could go out. And finally, my night out was here! 

I had thought of what to say or how to say or simply, what can be shared. But after the meeting, I felt like a fool. I don't know. I couldn't sleep as the picture of her yawning and feeling bored when I was talking made me disheartened. 

She was my best friend and to be exact - my ONLY best friend which I still cherished till - yesterday. I felt somewhere, somehow, something was missing. Maybe it was the years of gap that we lost contact or maybe it was because she has changed while I am still the stupid me.

While I tried to cautious, there was a few times that I gave in to "me" because I thought, "Friends should be honest, isn't it? And forgiving, if I say something wrong." I opened a topic on widower remarrying too soon and I found that she didn't understand my point. The conclusion was, "It's not your problem. Why do you have to think about it?" 

Yes, it's not my problem but because I linked the question to how much my husband loves me currently, I think it is fairly related. But her further response saddened me. 

I felt once again, maybe I had spoken like a fool that's why she was bored. Or maybe she thought I had nothing besides negativism to share. I don't like the idea of that. And to think about it, I doubt she'll come again - ever. 

I gave her a bracelet. A bracelet that I bought about 4 years ago when her birthday was arriving and she said she would be coming to meet me up but cancelled her plan. I didn't mention to her about that, because I think, it matters not, anymore. 

I believe a good friend is one who stands by you, listen and give counsel to you and not someone who would be agitated when you were just sharing your own thoughts. We really have much difference. 

I know I'm slow in growing - spiritually and emotionally but trust me, I'm growing with the help of my current BEST FRIEND- JESUS CHRIST - who will never abandon me or feel bored by me. 

I thank The Lord for I don't have to impress Him. I don't have to think about what to say to make Him happy or so forth because He simply loves me. 

I am not a maid

Sometimes I feel I am a maid. Exhausted. Unappreciated. 

Me: I feel like I am a maid.

Son: No, you're not. You're my Mama. 

Me: I cook, I wash, I clean, I look after you all...and teach you. 

I think I can be replaced. A maid can do the same.

Son: No...you're my mama.

Me: What does a Mama do?

Son: You cook...you clean...

Me: That's what a maid do...

Son: But you're my Mama. 

😭😪😢😳

The conversation continued and...

Son: What present do you want?

Me: I don't know want present I want. I never thought of what I really want.

Son: hmmm...How much does a daisy cost?

Me: (knowing he will get me a daisy) No, don't waste money. Flower wilts too soon. 

Son: then what do you like? Maybe bracelet? How much is it?

Me: Maybe 30 or 40 ringgits.

Son: I think I can buy that. 

😁😀

I thank God for giving me two beautiful angels to brighten up my day when it seems so hard to pass...

When you work, you get to have bonuses. 

When I work, I get two soul-touching kids that heal me when I'm feeling sick.

My heart aches

I don't know why I wasn't aware of his addiction to television until we had our first child. 

We used to watch tv together during dinner and after dinner until before bed. It was never a problem until Isaac was born. We continued to watch tv. He could play by himself, we thought. It was until he was two that I felt something was really wrong. He needed a good example and we were not setting good examples by watching tv endlessly and especially when it interrupted his sleeping time. Isaac used to sleep at 11pm or 12am at times!

I stopped watching tv. I wanted to spend more time with Isaac. I hated it when my husband rather watched TV than playing with him. It doesn't make sense. Man wants to have a family and when he has a wife and child, he refuses to give them time. So what's the point of having a family? That's my reason to have a fight with my husband - ALL THE TIME.

And the more fight we had, the more bitter I am. It didn't help. He won't change for us. And I just couldn't change him. I could only change myself to adapt to him. 

It makes me strong when I think that I'm depending on God. Though I may be strong, there are still times, my heart aches so much I wish I weren't here. Why am I the only one who's playing and accompanying the OUR children? Why am I the only who thinks setting a good example is a must for the kids to lead a Christian life? Why only me? 

The root of bitterness

I have no mood to read though I know I should read the Bible everyday. Sometimes, I just do not know what I want or what I am doing but I just keep sliding the screen on my phone while skimming through Facebook. Then, I stopped at a photo of my church members. 

They're a jovial and well respected couple. They're also proud parents of three children. But it hurt me when I see their photo. I don't quite understand. 

After reading my Bible, I finally understood. Praise The Lord for revealing to me what was wrong. 

Long ago, during lunch, we were chatting and I said that I couldn't really work in the administrative department or handle paper works. It was so boring that I almost fell asleep during work (I was relating my work experience as a marine claim executive). Then this experienced uncle 'taunted' me with something like, "that's because you've never worked in the bank administrative before. It is so busy practically that you won't get to breath. My daughter is working in a bank now. You can always ask her. She's as busy as I do. You won't be able to fall asleep." 

I felt hurt. And that hurt was a seed planted deep into my heart. And whenever I see this uncle or his daughter, I don't seem bless them but feel bitter. 

I prayed that God remove this bitterness. Why should I be hurt with that little conversation? Our lord Jesus Christ was humiliated and accused yet remained calm. In fact, He even prayed to our Father in heaven to forgive the sinners because they do not know what they're doing. Yes, forgive others and release self from being bitter is the best option to be joyful in The Lord. 

As human, we tend to speak a lot and sometimes we speak wrongly or have hurt others but we don't know. Pray that God will always guide us in our speech so that we will not hurt or provoke others by our words. 

Amen. 

I feel lousy

I feel lousy. I'm exhausted but I know I have to write this out before going to bed or I would stay awake even when I'm in bed.

I don't understand my exhaustion. I feel dizzy at times, nausea at times and exhausted most of the time almost every day since Monday. OK, exhaustion aside, I keep my reading up to date so I won't miss a day. I want a real change in me. 

1) Today, however, I felt extremely agitated but thank God I was able to guard my lips from lashing at my mom's sarcastic comment, "Keep the bill and claim it from your husband."

Kao Fu came today after his visit to Selayang Hospital. He's always kind enough to drop off packets of "Chee Cheong Fun" because he knows my husband loves it. So, how could I let him leave going hungry? And by my mom's suggestion, we headed to Tea Garden after sending Isaac to UCMAS training class. The bill came up to RM43. My mom wasn't grateful at all but gave sarcastic remarks. If that's not all, she thinks I'm rich to have extras all the time. I really wanted to tell her in her face that I only have another hundred ringgit to survive for this and next week but I didn't. I'm blessed for not lashing at her or I'll lose a testimony. 

2) I don't understand why men are so dependent! Be it my little man Isaac or his father, they're just so lazy to look for what they want but ASK and expect you to find it for them. Isaac called out,"Mama, where is my chicken bag?"  even before he REALLY look for it. Then when we were back from church, my husband asked, "Eii..ei..." when he was looking for the umbrella he had put into the bag earlier on. It was there but they just had to make some remarks or ask for help. Such lazy bum! But I had to swallow this because today's reading taught me to "treat my husband like a real man". I should respect him and resist to taunt him with hurtful comments such as this. Huh!!?!

3) My husband said he was tired after dinner and doubted whether he could stay awake during sermon. But after church, he had his supper while watching TV and he won't be in bed till midnight. Sometimes I feel whether I should believe in his "I'm tired" statement. It seems like all the exhaustion can be "cured" by watching TV.

4) I don't understand why mom wanted to follow us to the church. Her heart is so hard, I feel she's a spy or something like that. She told me she wanted to understand more before accepting Christ but the fact from the conversation I had with her, she still believe that she'll become crazy once she accepted Christ. And that's impossible if she had the right kind of faith. And what she spoke just made me feel even lousier. 

After all the Lamentations come counting the blessings.

1) When I was folding the clothes, I was amazed at how many clothes my kids have! Their clothes can last for a month without any washing to be done! And I always felt grateful when Isaac was three. He was lack of pajamas pants. I wished someone would give him some so I don't have to buy. And God heard my prayers. Someone did. And the pants exceeded what I was hoping to get. It's an abundant blessing! 

2) Well, this month I was really on a tight budget. I don't know why. I never counted how much I had previously but I always had money to save. In contrast, this month I wrote down what I had to spend and then, I was panicked and I really don't have much left. I just have another hundred plus to last for this weekend and next week. But I need to thank God because I'm not lacking. I still have a hundred to spend.