Laugh again, hope again

When someone asks you, "How are you?", what would you say? Most often than not, we would say, "I am fine, thank you." And that's what we taught our kids too. 

As I was reading the book, "Laugh Again, hope again", I was exhilarated. Yes, I definitely need this booster. 

Human is so superficial nowadays. We asked questions but we didn't really want to listen to the answers. Everyone is so busy. We would "touch & go" on a subject rather than having a lengthy talk about it. And even when we opened up, we may retreat when we sense that the other person may not like what we are saying. 

According to John Powell's "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?", there are five levels of communication which are presented in a concentric circles, from the most shallow (outer circle) to the deepest (smallest circle at the core). 

Level 5, the outer circle and the most basic one is called cliche conversation. Eg. How are you? 

Level 4: report facts. There is no personal, self-revelatory commentary. Eg. Little tales about others 

Level 3: ideas and judgment. May retreat if the listener raise an eyebrows or yawn. 

Level 2: feelings. 

Level 1: absolute honesty and openness (usually between spouses)

We rarely reach level 2. And to be exact, we may not even be able to stay in level 3. That's a pity. We rarely open up our feelings and be authentic! If we are open, we fear we will get hurt. So we rather closed up. 

We fear to be too authentic. We fear to reveal our weaknesses because we don't know what would the other person think of us. We don't want others to think less of us. 

Worries, stress and fear steal our joy away! 

It's so true. I was always worrying what the other person might think of me. Would she think I'm crazy? Would she think I am incapable of handling a task because I'm depressed? If not, why is she distancing herself? Why did she say what she said? Shouldn't friends be authentic to each other, without hiding any feelings? 

Well, I've been worrying too much. Why should I put my joy in the hands of others? Why did I put my joy solely by looking and keep rehearsing the expressions of a friend (keep yawning😵😵) in my mind? Ok. I guess she's being authentic by not hiding herself under the table to yawn. 😬

That's enough. 

Joy here I come! 🌈 praise the Lord for there's rainbow after the rain.