Discontentment and envy

I first started out my blog with the hope that it would draw readers from around the world and I would then be able to earn through their clicks on the ads. But how foolish or naive I have been! I spent endless hours on cooking and taking photographs and typing out the recipes and so forth but whenever I checked my income, I found that I had not even earned a single cent, I was angry, disappointed, sad, lousy...

Then I told myself, regrets upon regrets, I shall never do the same foolish thing. I started with a wrong motive! Earning income is nothing wrong but earning income at the expense of neglecting my son? My son was around 2 when I first started this blog. I was angry when he woke from his nap which interrupted my work. I neglected him to prepare dishes that's complicated. I was not found when he needed me most. What was I doing? In the hope to make a daily entry for my blog so that it could be seen at the top of the search page. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make it to the top. Well, obviously someone who's great in IT is paid to do such job and as poor as I am, how could I afford to pay to be at the top and then wait...wait for the opportunity to earn cents through clicks?

Today, I read a popular blog. Again, I felt, why can people do it but not me? I was green with envy. 

I lack confidence, consistence and persistence. 

I gave up on things too easily. But I told myself, I will try again. But this time, I won't do it on the expense of my kids because my kids are worth far greater than money. When they need me, I will be there. I will put this down and be with them...