God will send an angel to you

She was not liked. Born to be a tanned skin girl in a Chinese family, she felt like an outcast. Nobody liked her. She is dark, not adorable and without anyone liking her, she always kept to herself and couldn't bring herself to smile at anyone and thus the nick name of "bitter gourd face".

And soon Bitter Gourd girl grew up and one day, confused and scared while looking for the way to the hall of her new school, she bumped into a beautiful lady.

"This must be a parent," she thought. And she walked near the lady and asked, "Excuse me. Do you know where the main hall is?"

The lady gave the sweetest smile to Bitter Gourd and gave directions.

It was only later that Bitter Gourd knew that the beautiful lady was a teacher and she was the teacher for the society Bitter Gourd was chosen to be a secretary! Bitter Gourd felt like heaven rains blessings on her! When nobody believed in her, this teacher did. When nobody cared or bothered to listen to Bitter Gourd, this teacher did. Bitter Gourd knew that this teacher was a Christian. But it was until Bitter Gourd accepted Christ that she understood this was all under God's plan. The beautiful teacher was an angel sent by God to console and comfort Bitter Gourd that someone loves her when nobody else does, and there is one person who will love till eternity, and He is God.

God sends angels to us when we least expect it.

Thank you God for the love sent to Bitter Gourd through the beautiful teacher, Ms Lim.

Postnatal blues

My first postnatal was stressful. Without experience and having too many views and "advices" from people around me made me lost myself. I hurt myself and the people around me and eventually broke down, crying daily and then without good rest, I had backache for 2 years. 

This confinement, I promised myself that I won't be as stubborn as the first and that I should learn to let go. For the first week, I held on to my old self again, hurting myself for not resting well and I wondered why the tears could not stop flowing though I know crying will weaken my body. 

I caught a cold during the end of the first week and seek Chinese doctor for medication. When I thought everything would be fine, hospital called up and informed us that our baby was high in thyroid and needed another blood test immediately. We rushed to hospital that afternoon and blood was taken. The next week when we returned, the report showed my baby still have thyroid. Doctor advised another blood test to be done. It was painful to hear my baby cry out when three nurses pinned her down to take a tube of blood. 

It was tiring and my baby contracted with flu and cough. She cackled like an old man every night and woke everyone in the house. I felt helpless because there was nothing I could do to get the phlegm out of her throat. 

I informed church pastor about my baby's condition and asked for her prayer. She spread the news and asked every member to join in the prayer. That morning we went for another appointment and doctor didn't mention about her thyroid again. It's back to normal! Thank God. 

There should be nothing happier than to know everything is fine. What else do I need to hold on to and make myself so unhappy? Afterall God has delivered my daughter from harm and danger. I should cheer up. Yes, indeed I did. Things which used to provoke me before this have lesser impact on me already. I learned to let go and 🙈 no eye see or in a better way, choose to see what I want to see and ignore the weaknesses of others. 

😇

My baby

My due date for delivery was 26 February but till that date, there was no sign of contractions or whatsoever symptoms of delivery. Hence, I decided to wait for another 7 days (the maximum a doctor allows for overdue delivery). But my doc would be away on the 6 March and he suggested that I be admitted on the 3 March.

And so on the appointed date at 6am, we reached the Hospital Selayang, checked in and waited for the doctor to induce me. Around 10am, a doctor came and inserted a tablet into me and we started to wait and wait...

Nurses came and went to take my blood pressure and baby's heartbeat every hour. Hours passes by yet there was no sign of contractions. Around 4pm, my doctor came and checked. He said the baby's head was still very 'high' up there and it would be too risky for me to try the second or third inducement tablet as the pain of contractions might tear up my previous C-section wound. Those words, "You'll have to go through C-section" sliced through my heart. Tears started to well up my eyes and flowed freely once the doctor left my room. "I didn't want to go under the knife again," I cried. At that moment, I was so disappointed that I couldn't go through natural birth. 

Doc said the operation would be early next day but he came again in the evening and said that there were 8 or 9 cases the next day. So my operation was brought forward to midnight (6 hours after my last meal). 

Around midnight, the nurses came with operation cloth for me to change and fixed a catheter for me. Then I was pushed into the operation theatre. I went through the first door, signed in all the necessary consent letters and went through the second door and finally the third door. 

It was horribly cold in the theatre room... I was freezing and trembling. The only word I could mutter was "se---juk" (cold) to the nurse. A doc assistant came to me and explained that the room has to be at low temperture to prevent the breeding of virus. But I just kept muttering the same word till the anesthesiologist came and told me they'll give me a warmer later on. Then she explained the use of medication and the effect on my body. 

 

Very soon, I was asked to sit up straight. Then my back was sprayed with something that made me shiver. Then they put a piece of something on my back and I could feel my backbone was measured and probably counted and there was a poke. The anesthesiologist then said, "Now I'm going to insert medicine," and I could feel another poke into my back. Then they let me lie down and piled pieces of cloth over me and put two warmer, one on the left and another on my right to keep me warm. 

The anesthologist then said, "try to lift up your feet. Now shake them? Do they feel heavy? Now, see, this is a needle. I'm going to poke your body parts. Do tell me when it hurts." 

Then my gynae took his place and painted something red all over my belly. I couldn't bring myself to see the reflection anymore, scaring I would faint or vomit if I saw how he cut open my stomach. I looked away and prayed. 

Moments later, I could feel someone pushing hard at my stomach. The anesthologist came and explained that my gynae was trying to get the baby out of my stomach. When the pushing stopped, a loud baby cry was heard. My baby! It was a miraculous moment that I could see her arrival and hear her first cry.

I thought, "wow! So fast. Now I can go back to my room already and hug my baby." But nope, my gynae had to stitch back my stomach, right? After that only I was pushed to a waiting hall where my bleeding was monitored. 

When I reached my room, it was almost 4am already. Exhausted yet couldn't fall asleep, we waited for the nurse to bring in our baby. 

I'm into my 39 weeks of pregnancy!

If you're wondering what this is, wonder no more! It's my big belly with my little curled up princess inside. I'm well into my 39 weeks of pregnancy. 

Now I'm waiting eagerly for the contractions to start and the start of labour. 

Pray that I've a smooth delivery. 

A Depressive Chinese New Year

A week before Chinese New Year (CNY), I read about a young lady with bipolar. Her writing made me think whether it is really true that MOST of the people working in the creative field will somehow have bipolar. The thing is I don't just have this mood swing when I started to write but I have had it since I was a young girl! 

Probably dad was always not around and mom was depressive, festive seasons were the only thing I can look forward to through the year. It was during festive season that all the relatives or friends gathered around and I got to talk or listen to people talk. Otherwise life was just me, me and me alone.

Festive seasons heightened the mood but then the next minute, when everyone left the place, my mood would plummet and sink into a level that I might hide myself to cry it out. That's why I was called a cry-baby when I was a girl. And I went through this through my teenage and my adulthood. Life seems to be empty - VOID. 

Though I have married, have a son and expecting a second child now, the depression hasn't left me. After reading about the young lady with bipolar, I wondered whether I also need medication. But I never like to be controlled by medication unless it's the last resort. At the moment, I'm taking and should continue to take doses of God's words to keep me in balance. I've to admit that the pain does come again and again but it'll be a good testimony if I can go through this with the words and help of my Lord, Jesus Christ. 

Though quiet and without calls this festive season, may God Himself grant me His peace and joy! 

ABC soup with pressure cooker

I am doing a spring cleaning on my blog posts and found this: 

My mom has a pressure cooker which she wanted to hand over to me for a long long time. But I was adamant that I didn't need one because I like using gas stove to cook. Just like my mom, I don't like something to do with new technology. (Oops! Using iPad is one of my breakthrough recently). 

Though I didn't want to use it, I didn't want mom to give away such precious thing. So, it is in my house ever since November. 

As I am heavily pregnant now, my mood to cook fluctuate. So, now the pressure cooker comes in handy. 

All I have to do is blanch the pork ribs in boiling water for around 3 to 5 minutes, then throw all the necessary ingredients into the pot, add in 10 cups of water and press the button "Bone". Very soon, around 45 minutes, I have my soup on the table. 

The rate I would give is 8 for the taste. Using pressure cooker for soup is easy and fast but the soup lacks taste compared to boiling it for two hours. Anyway, this is a good alternative for those who are busy or running out of time for good soup. For better taste, you can increase the cooking time to two hours. 

Fry egg with prawn

My son likes prawns and he's good at eating them. He knows immediately whether the prawn is fresh or otherwise after a first bite. Once we went for a dinner at a restaurant and after taking a bite, he said, "I think the prawn is not fresh." I had to agree with him. The prawns did have a fishy smell. We ignored the prawns the dinner. 

For a simple meal, I've opted to fry egg with prawns. 

Ingredients

2 fresh eggs

500g shelled prawns 

1/ Heat up the wok and oil.

2/ Pour in the egg with prawns.

3/ Dish up when the egg mixture has dried up.

4/ Put drops of tomato sauce for taste.

Note: It is essential to make sure that you have a heated wok and oil. Otherwise your egg mixture will stick to the wok and you'll end up having burnt egg! You may check whether the oil is hot enough by putting a chopstick into the oil. If you see bubbling oil, then the oil is hot enough. Alternatively, you may use a non-stick pan to fry egg. 

Happy New Year

Oops! I hope I'm not too late to wish everyone a "Happy New Year".

When Christmas was around the corner, one would think of new year as well. And the last Christmas cum New Year I had a surprise from my brother who bought me iPad Air. So now updating my blog will be much easier and I hope that I can upload more beautiful pictures for you to view.

My second child is going to be due on 26 Feb. It could be earlier or later depending on God's will. Nevertheless, we're all too excited to see her. Yes, it's a girl. So I'm going to have a boy and a girl to make a happy pair.

During my confinement month, we've hired an aunty to cook for me. So be prepared to get recipes on confinement food then!