How to teach students compositions?

I was so disappointed when my student's mom called the principal and told her that my student did not understand what I have taught her. I felt like my world was crumbling down and I lost all hope in teaching. 

It was merely three weeks that I saw my student's results and she had flashed a wide grin, saying that it was her first time getting a pass in her Bahasa Malaysia after all these years. Yes, it was her first time passing the subject after studying the language for four years. It did give me a lot of confidence and self-esteem because I have just taught her for three months and she passed. She even asked for a present which I did not promise. But I relented because if the result made her happy, it made me too. After my Thailand trip, I presented a dress to her and she was elated. 

Well, everything was fine till today! I felt the skies ahead turned gloomy and there was thunderstorm and lightning and heavy rain. My heart was raining. I did not cry till I got into my car. Thank God, Isaac was there consoling me and telling me, "Don't be sad. I am here." 

I called my friend and she told me that what I can do is to ask my student to memorise compositions. There is nothing much I can do when her level of understanding is so low and there is not much she can understand no matter how long I spend with her. 

I have always doubted memorising compositions a good way to good marks. To me, memorising a composition and later on spitting it all out in an examination is merely a test on how much the brain can remember. It kills creativity and also, the student's ability to think. Nevertheless, what my friend said was right, "They have too little vocabulary to start a composition with. They need to memorise in order to ''save'' the vocabulary into their brain. Later on, they'll be able to use the saved vocabulary in other compositions." 

I'll give it a try from next week onwards. Please do anticipate for the results of it...

How to earn you a close friend?

"It looks beautiful. You should keep it for yourself. Give your friend something else," said my Mom. 

"But what should I give to my friend?" I asked naively.

"Go to the shop behind the house and buy something else," advised Mom. 

I trotted as fast as my feet could take me. When I reached the shop, there was little time to choose something beautiful and I ended up buying a coin box. Next, I went home to have it wrapped up and asked Dad to take me to my friend's house. 

It was my friend's birthday and she was having a birthday party. I had always liked attending birthday parties because it meant food and games. Nevertheless, it also meant having to spend on a present for the friend. However, each time after purchasing something which I thought it suited my friend, my Mom would interfere and said that the present looked nice and I should keep it and advised me to buy another one for my friend. It happened many times until I lost my friends that I realised how selfish was that attitude of keeping the best to self and giving something poorly chosen for someone I called a "friend". 

I don't understand why my Mom has this flaw. The only reason I could think of was that she was from a very poor family and that whatever beautiful and nice and good were not available to her in her childhood. Frankly, I didn't know why I wanted the presents which I was suppose to give to my friends but since Mom said they were good, I kept them. It always made me feel embarrassed and shameful of my act. I felt like I've done something very wrong (keeping a secret from my friends) but I wasn't! How much of pressure have I gone through!

Thank God, I am able to give now. God is love and it is only with love that we are able to give sincerely and freely. When I give, I don't expect to get anything in return for I give because I am thankful I am able to give and to share and show my appreciation for the friendship. 

Come friends' birthday, I told  myself that I am not going to give cheapskate things for them. I wanted them to remember me, yes, me, ALICE TONG, as someone who is willing to give to good friends and not someone who would just want something good from others. I told my husband that my Mom's attitude of keeping the best to self is irritating, selfish and mean and she's bothering me when she keeps repeating to me to keep something "best" to myself. 

I hope Mom learn that keeping the best to herself won't win her any close friends...

(pic: a bangle-like bracelet that I bought for a friend I call a sister)

What is hand-eye coordination?

The term ‘hand-eye coordination’ to me was like an alien until my son was two years old. It was then that I put him in a Montessori and the principal explained to me the importance of hand-eye coordination. It saddened me how much I have missed before this. If I were to know it earlier, probably my son would have been better developed. From then on, I try to read more on childhood development and how different motor skills and coordination help in the children’s future learning ability.

Hand-eye coordination is the ability to guide the movement of the hands with the eyes. It is vital for the children to have hand-eye coordination because by the time children start to learn to write, their writing will stay within the lines. I have seen children who struggle writing within the lines although they have tried their best. To avoid such frustration, parents can try to stimulate their children’s hand-eye coordination right after they are born.

Although it is popular among parents, many people do not realise that cloth mat with objects hanging on it is a useful tool for training children’s hand-eye coordination. Infants who are allowed to lie down on the cloth mat will be attracted to the objects hanging above them. Being attracted by the colourful objects, they will stretch up their hands to grab them. Many times the babies will not be able to grab the objects but just manage to touch or push them. That is the start of how they train their hands to go to where their eyes are looking at.

For toddlers who already know how to sit up, they should be allowed to play lacing cards, stringing beads, nesting boxes, stacking cones, completing puzzles, kneading playdough or even cutting some recycled papers with the assistance of adults. One of my friends likes to let her daughters play pouring water or dry sand from one container to the other. The activities above not only stimulate the children’s hand-eye coordination but training the children to have patience and staying focused.

Older children are encouraged to be involved in outdoor playground activities such as climbing steel bars, monkey bars, slide, mock rock-climbing wall or balancing on a plank of wood. Besides the abovementioned activities, parents also can let children handle house chores such as washing the dishes (make sure the dishes are unbreakable), sweeping the floor or picking up toys.

It is vital for parents to understand the importance of hand-eye coordination and using the appropriate materials to develop their children’s coordination. Parents have to understand that well-developed hand-eye coordination and motor skills will provide a speedy learning ability when the children enter primary school. If the foundation is not strong, children will face difficulties in the future learning process, thus, pressure and frustrations will arise. 

The above article is published in The Star online newspaper:

http://parenthots.com/parents_corner/soapbox/Realising-the-importance-of-hand-eye-coordination.aspx

Huggies Dry Pants

Frankly, I am not a fan of diapers because they are expensive. I used to use cloth nappies for my baby's comfort and to save cost. However, changing cloth nappies after each urination and cleaning the soiled nappies exhausted  me and it has taken a toil on my health. Therefore, I have chosen Huggies Dry Pants and they are worth the money spent! In just three steps: tear, change and throw, Huggies Dry Pants save time and I can have my evening naps with ease. 

For mothers like me who want to have headache-free experience from soiled nappies and frustration from changing taped diapers, why not try Huggies Dry Pants. There is a road show going on from 25 February to 3 March in Mydin USJ titled Huggies Dry Pants Change for Better Convenience.

There are live performances, special promotions, giveaways, games, magic tricks and other activities to keep the babies and yourselves occupied and amazed. There is also a competition for those who wanted to try their hands on Huggies Dry Pants. They can join the Huggies 30 seconds Diaper Change Challenge at the road show.

Kids who are comfortable will be confident!

Latihan susun perkataan

Sebagai seorang tutor, saya amat mengambil berat tentang pemahaman pelajar-pelajar saya dalam struktur ayat. Pelajar perlu memahami struktur ayat untuk membolehkan mereka membina ayat yang gramatis. Oleh itu, saya selalu menyediakan latihan susun perkataan untuk mereka. Latihan susun perkataan boleh mengukuhkan pemahaman mereka dalam struktur ayat and memberi idea kepada mereka bagaimana ayat dibina. 

Berikut ialah contoh latihan susun perkataan yang saya sediakan. 

Latihan Bina Ayat

As a tutor myself, I find it difficult to find appropriate materials for my students to incorporate what I have taught them. Therefore, I prefer to prepare  my own exercises to enhance their understanding on the topic we have went through.

From my experience, my students are lack of vocabulary because English and Bahasa Malaysia are not their mother tongue as they are Chinese. They used to speak Chinese at home and in the school. Lacking vocabulary crippled their ability in making good sentences. Therefore, in my class, making sentences or bina ayat is not something new. I make sure my students learn new verbs or kata kerja and use them in the sentences making process.

Below is an example of exercises I've prepared for my students. I hope this will help you too.

God's Smuggler

It's simply amazing! Never had I read any non-fiction book with such thrill. Once it landed in my hands, I buried my face in it at every opportunity. Frankly, I don't get much time to read a day except when my son is taking his nap. 

Although excited, reading this book was slower than I had thought. This is due to the fact I had a pen and a ruler with me all the time underlining every miracle mentioned in the book. It was difficult to resist the urge to underline each miracle that I came across as I felt they touched me deeply. Each time the narrative, Brother Andrew, faced with a great new challenge, my heart raced faster than ever. Each challenge ended graciously, showing the work of God and how faith saved Andrew. 

This book alone speaks volume of God's grace, merciful love and most of all, His power and protection against all odds. I've cried tears of joy and thankfulness for being granted this book. I guess it's a calling from God to renew my faith in Him. 

Since there are too many miracles to mention here, I'll give an instance which I like very much. It was about the Volkswagon that Andrew used for the purpose of transporting Bibles. While he was on his way from East Germany to Poland, his car breathed its last. With him in the car were two Dutch students. He needed five hundred Marks to have the engine changed and another thirty Marks to purchase gasoline on the way home. However, after changing every last guilder, it all came to 470 Marks only. He walked back to the garage and as he could no longer hold the truth from the mechanic, the two students raced through the door, "one of them waiving something in his hand. 'Andy!' he shouted. 'Craziest thing ever happened to me! We were just walking along the street when this lady came up to us and asked if we were Dutchmen. When I said yes, she gave me this bill. She said God wanted us to have it!'

The bill was for fifty Marks." 

Isn't that fantastic? If you have just gasped at the miracle above, you're recommended to read the book yourself to take your breath away with dozens of other miracles in the book. 

BOOK TITLE : GOD'S SMUGGLER

AUTHOR        : Brother Andrew with John and Elizabeth Sherrill

PUBLISHER   : Hodder & Stoughton 
LOCATION    : Great Britain

The Enemy Within

It was an ordinary Sunday's afternoon after church service and I had the 'push' to visit my church's library for some inspiring and spirit-uplifting books. Within 10 minutes, I found this book, The Enemy Within. Well, who is that 'enemy' that the book is talking about? I think for most Christians, we know that it's our flesh and the sins that our flesh indulges into. 

As I read the book, I could not stop nodding my head in agreement with Kris Lundgaard who talks about the power and defeat of sin. 

Lundgaard's book consist of four parts. Part One is about power of sin, Part Two; how sin works in us, Part Three; The Power of Sin in What It Does and Part Four; Nailing the Lid on Sin's Coffin. Lundgaard starts the book with a story of himself wanting to surprise his wife. After some struggling moment through the job, he realised he did not have the necessary tool to finish it off. And it was then that his boys started a rivalry which caused him to lose his temper all at once. After that incident, he felt like a whipped puppy. With that, he quoted Paul in Romans 7:21, "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me." From there, Lundgaard proceeds to explain the truth in that verse and how true it is that in every heart, there is a law which draws us to sin. How often do you find yourself wanting to do good and the next minute, WHAM!, there goes our temper and conscience. 

I like how Lundgaard explains the soul which comprises the mind, the affections and the will. 

The mind is the sentinel, commanded to watch carefully over the soul by questioning, assessing, and making judgments: Will this please God? Is this according to God's Word? If the mind determines that an action is right, the affections should fall in line and desire, long for, and cling to that which the mind said was good. Last, the will puts the soul into action, carrying out what the mind said was good and the affections hungered for. If your mind is persuaded to believe a sin is good for your soul, and your affections work up an appetite for it, your will gives its consent - the dominoes fall and the flesh bears its putrid fruit in your life.   

(Lundgaard; 1998: 56)

The Enemy Within is easy to understand and Lundgaard's perfect use of metaphor and good writing encourage readers to put on their thinking cap. After each chapter, Lundgaard includes a section with questions for reflection and discussion. Therefore, it encourages one to search and read more of the Bible. 

Below is the information of the book: 

BOOK TITLE: The Enemy Within

AUTHOR       : Kris Lundgaard

PUBLISHER  : P&R Publishing

LOCATION   : United States of America 

Tears from the Iron Man

It is a custom for us to go to Johor every Chinese New Year (CNY) for a once-a-year reunion with my husband's family: parents, sisters and other relatives. Though we go back to Johor few times a year, the CNY reunion  brings a much different value to the family. As my husband's sisters are married to other states, we can only come together once a year to celebrate this festive and it had always brought pleasant memories. 

This year, however, I had some misunderstanding with my eldest sis-in-law. Deep inside me, I kept telling myself that, "it's OK. She was just nervous and anxious about the whole issue". On the other hand, I had asked my husband to get into the room and started a tantrum. Sometimes, it's weird that I knew something was wrong yet I continued to indulge in it. And the more I fed my indulgence, I wanted more and ended up calling one after another bus station to check on tickets back to KL. All I wanted was to show my self-existence, my power and authority as a human in that house. 

Heart was pumping fast, nerves were wrecking, and patience towards the situation was running low, I wanted immediate revenge. Within minutes I was already packing my clothings and going to the store room to get my wet clothes after my mother-in-law (Mama) morning wash. Mama was there and asked about what I was doing. I told her I was going to leave that place and she came after me and told my father-in-law  (Papa) who was at the second living hall taking a nap. 

Out of my expectation, both the parents came into our room, Papa crying and pleading us not to leave. "Please don't do like that. I am so old already. I don't know how many more reunions of this kind I would be able to see." Seeing tears flowing from this Iron Man that I knew, my heart twisted and wrenched in pain. Papa was an ex-navy and to what I knew, we had few words through the years and to me, he was one man with heart of steel. His tears proved  me wrong! He is made of flesh and blood just like any one of us though he speaks less with me. By then, Mama had already started crying and asking us to stay. The family will not be complete if one of them is missing. 

I felt sorry for both of them. I was wrong. I apologised to Papa and he told me, "Whatever it is, please overlook it. Don't keep it in the heart." I nodded.

Although Papa and Mama have few words with me, I feel I am actually part of them as well. How could the crave of self-existence be looked upon higher than love? 

"Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal."

(1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)

Whose responsibility?

After my morning shopping for a whole week of food, I went to the newspaper stall to get the latest news. What a shock when I saw all the major local newspaper are reporting on the death of the six-year-old, William Yau Zhen Zhong. 

William had been reported missing for more than a week and police were on their patrol and every media highlighted the issue wherever and whenever they can. Even people on Facebook shared William's photo and wished that this boy can be found safely and return home. Nevertheless, the nightmare we all feared has come alive - William was found dead!

Now the question is "How did he die?" Public is keen to find out the answer and the police just have to look out for the murderer or cause of William's death. It was another life. It was tragic. 

The aunty at the newspaper stall concluded that William's parents should not have left him in the car and went to shop themselves. They shouldn't and it would not have happened. But it was too late. 

We have had enough of parents leaving their children in the house for hours or asking their little children to run the errand or even forgetting that their children were asleep in the back seat of the car! These children died due to a "slight mistake" made by their parents and there were no turning back. Parents begged for forgiveness and I believe that the news of their children's death will haunt them for life. 

I've a son and I know how it feels it he were hurt. If only William's parents did not leave him in the car...If only William did not go down the car and went looking for his parents. If only William would be obedient to stay in the car, waiting patiently for his parents to return...If only this world will get better, the next generation would only be worse with less care and more negligence of what we should be doing.

A Maid

She has to wake up at 6am and starts to do housechores. This continues till 9am before she gets her breakfast. People say she is stupid because she could not understand simple command and  most of the time, she reacted to what is asked of her rather than being proactive on the tasks she needs to do. There and then, I thanked God that I am born in Malaysia, a place where if you're willing to work, you'll get money. Malaysia is good, if not better than third world countries where daughters are meant to be sent off to faraway countries to be maids to strangers. 

I keep asking myself, what will I do to a maid if I were to have one? There is very low possibility of having one for myself but I believe this assumption is needed here. If everyone can answer this assumption too, then, it will be a better world for both - the employer and maid. 

A maid is a human born by a mother. She has parents, just like we do and may or may not have siblings. She is ''sold'' here under contract in order to get money for the family. If she is extremely smart, she would get on top of your head. If she is slow, she might get changed and blacklisted as 'rejected item'. 

My mom and I also have high tolerance towards maids. Mom feels that if a maid is clever, she wouldn't have to come so far to earn money. She would have stayed in her homeland and get a job. Why the hassles of being transported to an unknown land and living with strangers with no or less contact with family members?Just imagine ourselves being sold as slaves to a faraway land. Forget about our father, mother, brother or sister. Day after day, work is awaiting us and so on....

Are we treating them as human? After talking with a maid, my heart was heavy with sadness. No doubt she was slow but I believe she wanted to try. My heart went to her at night with prayers, praying that Jesus may brighten her eyes and teach her how to do housechores better. I really hope that I can see her for the third time. 

It's a new year

It's the 1st of January again but on a different year.

I'll be older by a year and it also means a year closer to my death. Well, nobody knows at what age they'll die. I mean, you won't know it even if you have the greatest fortune teller to tell you so. Before my dad accepted Christ, he liked to visit fortune tellers. One of the fortune tellers told him that he would live to age 75. But what a shock when he knew that he was contracted with liver cancer at the age of 56 and died the same year! So, only God knows. 

Best wishes to everyone (as if I've a lot of readers here). I still wish to think and imagine someone is reading my blog and may this love and peace be passed on and on...

Christmas

Yesterday was Christmas. It was a long awaited moment to exchange presents with friends in the church. After two days (Christmas eve and Christmas day) of labouring with two big bags of presents to give out to the friends, we came home with one big bag of presents from others.

It was a moment of excitement tearing up one after another of wrapping paper. But the moment of knowing what was inside brought frown to my face. I would go, "Oh, not again?!" or "Why this??" I told my husband that we gave out more presents than we received. And what's more? The presents we received were not what we needed. My husband did not reply.

Before bed, I went to Jesus and said, "Oh, God. Please forgive me for forgetting what Christmas is all about. It's about You. It's about the birth of Jesus. Jesus is supposed to be the star of the day but we have put so much of emphasis on the presents to give and receive that we forgot about Jesus altogether. It was a shame! How wrong was I! Jesus is the best gift and He did not even ask anything in return."

Reflecting upon that, I saw myself as a little girl. Since young, I felt unloved. I am dark-skinned compared to other Chinese girls. What's more when I have single eye lids with uneven teeth. I envied people who get good gifts while I got mugs for every birthday. I didn't understand why my friends did not give me what I "wanted". I've always blamed that on my looks. I grow up with those thoughts in my mind and they will surface during each festive to create emotional swing in me. It is good that this Christmas God has opened up my eyes to see how 'a little girl' I was and it is time to move on to be a mother, a wife and someone with a motherly heart to love unconditionally. 

No matter how I look like or what I receive for Christmas, it is Jesus that matters. He shows me who I actually am and is able to change me. Thank you, Jesus. If possible, may I get another baby as my next Christmas present? Hehe....

Hand Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD)

First it was a blister on his lower lip and next, he refused to eat anything at all. A look by his teacher at the playschool and I was asked to take my son to the doctor. The doctor confirmed my son to have Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD) and said there would be more cases from the same playschool as parents lack knowledge on this issue.

When I just got married, I was ignorant about HFMD and brushed it off each time I came across it as it had nothing to do with me. All I knew was that it would be a painful ride for the child who contracted it. Besides that, I knew nothing about Coxsakie, another name used in Western countries for the same disease.

This time, however, I beg to differ. I need more information. There really were many contracted with this disease due to ignorance and - selfishness from parents who know it is contagious yet left their children at the playschool.

A surf in the world wide web gives me a lot of information about HFMD. So, what is HFMD? It is an illness characterised by fever, sores in the mouth, and a rash with blisters. The rash does not itch, so don’t expect your child to scratch it to tell you he/she has HFMD. Constant notices of baby’s palms and feet, as well as their appetite and body temperature help to have an early detection. The most common cause of HFMD is coxsakievirus A16.

As HFMD is caused by viruses, it is contagious through direct contact with the saliva, stool and blister fluid of the infected persons. The most contagious period is during the first week of the illness. Although the most common people who get infected with this disease are children aged 10 or below, adults may get infected too. Pregnant mothers may pass on the disease to the newborns and cause complications such as developmental and other defects in the foetus.

There is no special treatment for the disease. A visit to the locum confirmed that doctor only gives paracetamol and painkiller to reduce fever and discomfort for the patients. At the time of illness, patients’ fluid intake is vital as one may not be able to take in any food. Constant sponging the head of the infected helps to reduce his temperature too. The disease will resolve around 10 to 12 days but may still spread infectious virus for weeks.

A major preventive measure parents can take is to stop sending their children to school for the time being until the children fully recover. Secondly, the items used by the infected person should be disinfected constantly to avoid leaving any infectious fluid on them. Thirdly, a strict hygienic routine should be followed such as washing the hands after each change of diaper or touching on the skin of the infected persons.

 

References

http://www.babycenter.com.my/a1614/hand-foot-and-mouth-disease-hfmd

http://jknns.moh.gov.my

http://www.medicinenet.com/coxsackie_virus/article.htm#what_is_coxsackie_virus

http://www.parents.com/baby/health/other-issues/coxsackie-virus-facts/

http://www.sarawak.health.gov.my/hfmd.htm

 

 

Viral infection can be prevented with a little consideration towards others

Recently my son contracted hand, foot and mouth disease (HFMD). There was no point starting the blame game but it all started with one child, whose parents knew about their child’s condition, yet left him in the playschool and let the virus spread among his friends. It was plain selfish. My son and my friend’s daughter were infected too. And I advised my friend not to bring her daughter to an event because her daughter needs to be quarantined for at least one week to ensure she is fine before going to public places, especially getting in contact with other kids. She replied me with, “My husband said she is fine.” I was overwhelmed by her answer. How could parents be so selfish? They think that there is little chance of passing on the sickness to someone else and when it really does, they do not feel guilty at all? What have become of our society and mentality? Aren’t other people’s children, children too? Don’t we feel pain when our children are hurt, going foodless for days and yet we want other children to feel that pain too? Here I would like to plead to parents out there to not let your children join any function when they are sick. Hand, foot and mouth disease is infectious, just like chicken pox and tuberculosis. It can be prevented with a little consideration towards others, with a little time spent at home with the children and not to expose them to the public. When I visited the doctor, he said our country has more such cases compared to Westerners. This is because Westerners take other people into consideration and do not wish the virus spread to others. As a well-informed society, let us go to the next level, the level of not only thinking for ourselves but others too. Children around the world are the same – they feel pain the same way your children do. 

Hand foot and mouth disease (Kosaki)

My son is down with Kosaki or better known locally as hand, foot and mouth disease AGAIN! He had it last year end and it was a full year after that that he has it again now...

Last year, when I was told by my son's teacher that she suspected something, I was alarmed. I didn't know much about Kosaki and all I knew was that it would be a tough ride for both my son and I. The doctor prescribed my son antibiotics, paracetamol and painkiller. Thank God, it was easy last year. My son was easily duped into believing the white antibiotics was vanilla icecream and took them punctually. He did not go through pain or foodless days. 

This year, however, we went to another doctor. Well, frankly, I don't like antibiotics and I was saying, "Yipee! This doc didn't prescribe antibiotics." Doc said Kosaki is a viral infection and has nothing to do with bacteria. So, antibiotics is not needed. On the third day after contracting Kosaki, my son lost his appetite TOTALLY! He was not eating anything and kept throwing tantrum because the ulcers in his mouth hurt him so much. I could feel the pain too. I bought him coconut juice everyday and gave him watermelon. Those did not cool him down. On the fourth day, he started to have fever, reaching 39.1 degree  Celcius and started to feel dizzy most of time, wanting to sleep. My mom urged us to bring my son to another doctor and get a second opinion. 

We rushed our son to Hospital Selayang and was posted to the Fever Centre. Within half an hour, we had seen the doctor and my son's blood was requested to check whether antibiotics is needed. Thank God, it was fast and the doctor said that my son's blood showed there was higher white blood cells and that indicated bacteria infection. So, my son needed antibiotics. That very evening we gave him the first dose of antibiotics and the next day, he was jumping up and down and taking his three meals like usual! 

I wonder whether it was my tenacity of rejecting antibiotics that has caused much pain to my son or was it just the timing problem? 

What is a child?

Children are born not knowing anything. They came to the world and we teach and coach them to do things. Hence, as adults, we tend to think that we are much cleverer than children. However, children are our conscience teachers! They are pure at heart and motiveless unlike adults who have hidden agenda.

Besides, children's characters are tender.
They can be moulded and shaped according to our teachings. There is a Chinese saying which sounds like: How a child is at the age of 3 will determine what he will be at the age of 80. This means that the moulding period starts at the age of 0 up to the age of 3. Some statistics show that it ends at the age of 2 instead. This shows how crucial it is for parents to be aware of the importance of the impartation of knowledge and example for their children. So, do we give up moulding them after the age of 2? It should not be. There's nothing too difficult for the Lord to do. We should always believe bad characters can be changed if we have faith in our loving Jesus Christ for He is love. He loves us and our children and wants us to be like Him. He will teach us. 

Education should not stop at any moment of our lives nor our children's. 

Did you give birth to a child or a person?

Here, I would like to continue to share the book I am reading, Wei Ren Fu Mu, Wei Ren Shi Biao by Rev. Dr. Stephen Tong.

Did you give birth to a child or a person? You might say, "What? A child is a person and that person is my child. So, what's the difference?"

If parents always treat their children as children, then they are denying the children the opportunity to grow. We should treat the children as individuals, each has his/her own choices, preferences, uniqueness just like an adult. Let them the space to grow. Have we forgotten that we were once children?

Great people like John Wesley, Martin Luther or even Adolf Hitler were once children. It was how they were treat when they were children that shaped them to be what we knew them to be!

My story: The other day in my friend's sister wedding dinner, Isaac ran around the hall and disappeared behind some pillars. Daddy was anxious and went looking for him. When Isaac saw Daddy, he knew he had done something wrong. He had not kept his promise to stay close to us. Instead, he ran out of the boundary. Daddy asked, "What have you done?" Isaac started to cry loudly. It was embarrassing for both the adult and child.

Reminder: If we treat our children as individuals, we'll respect them. In the situation above, the father should have brought Isaac to a quieter place, just the two of them, to have a talk (car, toilet, meeting room, etc).

Stay tune!

Why has my child turned bad all of a sudden?

My son's teacher, Lydia, or my sis in Christ lent me a book by Reverend Dr. Stephen Tong. It is written in Chinese and I have to read it slowly, very slowly to understand it. And probably reading slowly does help to punch in the words into my mind. 

"Why has my child turned bad all of a sudden?" he said a parent asked. 

The parent should examine himself / herself. 

A child does not turn bad 'all of a sudden'. It was the parent who did not take notice of the changes in his/her child. 

Hence, parents are advised to be alert and conscious about their children's behaviour every now and then and not wait till something has happened and blamed it on someone or even God. That is irresponsible. 

It's a good lesson for me and hopefully for you too...It'll be zero quality time when a mother / father is typing away with the computer while the son shares the same room playing all by himself. It's zero quality time when a son types away with the computer when the father reads the newspaper. Take notice of your child every new behaviour now and stop him from turning bad. 

I'll continue to share the key points of the book in my next posts. 

Till then, God bless!

In loving memory of my dad

“Dad, I’ve made it!” I muttered. There was no reply. How I wish he was here on the day of my convocation for my Master degree. If only he were here, he would have attended my convocation and I would not have felt ‘alone’ in the hall throughout the ceremony. How I wanted to cry and how much I’ve cried. “Dad, I knew you can see me in heaven and may that be. I know you’ll be proud of me.”

Dad and Mom married at young ages. The marriage proposal was made when my grandfather was at his ill bed and Chinese believe that marriage can help boost an old person’s health, so my parents were married. Dad was immature and his play time had not ended. After all, he had a good mother to look after our food and clothes and what’s more to worry about? He never forgets to bring us out every weekend to one of the best beaches like Port Dickson and Morib and the then popular water theme park, Mimaland. However, when grandmother passed away, Dad was jolted from his slumberland and was pressured to work hard to earn a living for his own family. Working day and night, father-children relationship began to drift further and further apart. Communication was at the least! We woke up not seeing Dad and we went to sleep without any sign of him.

Dad missed a lot of our growing up. He did not know when I got my best Art stream student award in the school. He did not know when I cried and almost committed suicide for being bullied in the school. He did not know when I was betrayed. He did not know me! It did not help when we got to know that he had a mistress. Although he did not admit it, we knew it. The cracks went deeper.

During my varsity years, Dad had a tremendous change. He took the effort to take me to my varsity in Kedah every new semester and helped me to carry all my stuffs to the allocated room. He called me almost every night to find out what I was doing and whether I could cope with the ‘jungle’ life. When I graduated, he drove me everywhere for interviews. Happy days returned.

Things were fine not for long…Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. It was the third stage and within a month, he was in the fourth stage and almost all the doctors we met gave up on his case. Within those six months of being ill, I saw great changes in Dad. He religiously went to church with me every Sunday. I would never forget those two questions that he asked and have touched me deeply. One was, “I’ve done so many bad things…Will Jesus forgive me?” I held his hand and assured him, “Yes, He will.” Another question he asked was, “Daughter, were you angry when I did not let you further your study in Australia as promised?” Deep down I wanted to say, “I was. I was extremely disappointed the moment I knew I could not go to Australia because all the money was to be spent on my brother for his three years of education in Australia rather than one as planned. I was disheartened why I was to be sacrificed.” But could I tell this dying man, my dear Dad that way? No! I told him, “It’s OK. I’ve made it to local university. I’ve forgiven you.”

Dad, I have forgiven you long ago on whatever you have done to us or to me. In fact, I have always missed you. With you, I was always a little girl. I liked to confide in you because you always gave me confidence. How I wish you were for my graduation! In loving memory of your 5^th anniversary, Dad. I miss you.