Christmas

Yesterday was Christmas. It was a long awaited moment to exchange presents with friends in the church. After two days (Christmas eve and Christmas day) of labouring with two big bags of presents to give out to the friends, we came home with one big bag of presents from others.

It was a moment of excitement tearing up one after another of wrapping paper. But the moment of knowing what was inside brought frown to my face. I would go, "Oh, not again?!" or "Why this??" I told my husband that we gave out more presents than we received. And what's more? The presents we received were not what we needed. My husband did not reply.

Before bed, I went to Jesus and said, "Oh, God. Please forgive me for forgetting what Christmas is all about. It's about You. It's about the birth of Jesus. Jesus is supposed to be the star of the day but we have put so much of emphasis on the presents to give and receive that we forgot about Jesus altogether. It was a shame! How wrong was I! Jesus is the best gift and He did not even ask anything in return."

Reflecting upon that, I saw myself as a little girl. Since young, I felt unloved. I am dark-skinned compared to other Chinese girls. What's more when I have single eye lids with uneven teeth. I envied people who get good gifts while I got mugs for every birthday. I didn't understand why my friends did not give me what I "wanted". I've always blamed that on my looks. I grow up with those thoughts in my mind and they will surface during each festive to create emotional swing in me. It is good that this Christmas God has opened up my eyes to see how 'a little girl' I was and it is time to move on to be a mother, a wife and someone with a motherly heart to love unconditionally. 

No matter how I look like or what I receive for Christmas, it is Jesus that matters. He shows me who I actually am and is able to change me. Thank you, Jesus. If possible, may I get another baby as my next Christmas present? Hehe....