The pain from severed friendship

How could I ignore it? But why do I care so much about whether she remembers me? Am I too sentimental to remember what happened some 20 years ago, those happy moments where we sat side by side, had arguments and made up? Am I too sentimental to remember only the good times we spent till we separated when I joined the arts stream while she joined the science? Though separated, we kept in touch and probably I was too occupied with myself, being bullied in my class and sought help than helping her that I've lost her since then! 

Most of us want friends to be with us when were down and under. When I joined arts stream, I faced extreme pressure from my counterparts. I did not know what went wrong, why, when, etc...All I knew was, they teamed up against me and stopped talking to me. I sought help from my friends from the science stream. I had no other friends. I was lonely and cried often. Though I obtained the best student in the arts stream, I had no sincere friends. I guessed it was then that she also faced pressure and she slipped away, getting to know other 'best friends' to accompany her. I did felt jealous at that point but came to realise that we need people during the worst time. It makes sense! 

We went to different university but we met up during holidays and had holidays job together. I still mesmerised those times when I was allowed to go to her house and slept on her bed. People say that a best friend should have slept with us, cried with us, laughed with us,...I thought we did, or I did. And that was the only reason I chose her to be my bride's maid and not my other church member! I cried so easily and poured out my heart to her and probably she was listening to me so intensely that she forgot about telling her problems to me and I lost her. 

OH, why do I care so much? I mean, with Facebook, it's difficult not to see people's progress, what they do, where they are and how they feel. Everything is in black and white and it is clear that I'm totally forgotten! Ok. It's my PMS again. I gotta hang up now before I get dizzy with too many things in my head again...The severed friendship hurts because I knew I've lost her as a friend...Who cares now accept that I felt the difference!