The pain from severed friendship

How could I ignore it? But why do I care so much about whether she remembers me? Am I too sentimental to remember what happened some 20 years ago, those happy moments where we sat side by side, had arguments and made up? Am I too sentimental to remember only the good times we spent till we separated when I joined the arts stream while she joined the science? Though separated, we kept in touch and probably I was too occupied with myself, being bullied in my class and sought help than helping her that I've lost her since then! 

Most of us want friends to be with us when were down and under. When I joined arts stream, I faced extreme pressure from my counterparts. I did not know what went wrong, why, when, etc...All I knew was, they teamed up against me and stopped talking to me. I sought help from my friends from the science stream. I had no other friends. I was lonely and cried often. Though I obtained the best student in the arts stream, I had no sincere friends. I guessed it was then that she also faced pressure and she slipped away, getting to know other 'best friends' to accompany her. I did felt jealous at that point but came to realise that we need people during the worst time. It makes sense! 

We went to different university but we met up during holidays and had holidays job together. I still mesmerised those times when I was allowed to go to her house and slept on her bed. People say that a best friend should have slept with us, cried with us, laughed with us,...I thought we did, or I did. And that was the only reason I chose her to be my bride's maid and not my other church member! I cried so easily and poured out my heart to her and probably she was listening to me so intensely that she forgot about telling her problems to me and I lost her. 

OH, why do I care so much? I mean, with Facebook, it's difficult not to see people's progress, what they do, where they are and how they feel. Everything is in black and white and it is clear that I'm totally forgotten! Ok. It's my PMS again. I gotta hang up now before I get dizzy with too many things in my head again...The severed friendship hurts because I knew I've lost her as a friend...Who cares now accept that I felt the difference!

Losing the will to live

Two days ago my friend told me that her uncle had passed on. I asked whether it was the uncle on the wheelchair. She nodded.

He was an invalid for more than 30 years. Being on a wheelchair, he needed help wherever he went. According to my friend, he was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago and the doctor had to feed him through a tube. Reluctant to survive on tube, he pulled it out even knowing that that would cost him his life. I guessed, he must have thought, "What's the use of living on when I'm on a tube?" The burden on the family must have been unbearable. 

He had two sons, one adopted and another son from his own wife. However, it was believed that the son was not his but from his wife's affair. Nevertheless, he treated the children like his own. Knowing that he was not a 'man' himself, he allowed his wife to have an affair and what's more, he had to raise a son who was from another man. 

This man must had had gone through much pain and hurt to accept all these and losing the will to live was nothing than snuffing out a flickering fire. That's the end...

If only he knows that God loves him...

Thank God for His grace

Saying goodbye to Nicolas was hard. It has been a wonderful week working with him through five mornings. Though I was stressed with the preparation, I enjoyed teaching him. And after this week of teaching, I've finally found my own identity!

Previously, my feeling was like, "I am not an English, so I can't teach English. I am not a Malay, so I can't teach Bahasa Malaysia. I am a Chinese yet I don't read and write in Mandarin. What am I?" I was bogged down by those thoughts that I did not know what to do. When I had decided to leave 'languages' behind and turn over to something totally new, such as venturing into T-shirt printing or real estate, God sent someone to knock on  my door. 

She's a French looking for a private teacher for her son and viola, I was chosen! I've to stress that it's NOT pure luck but it was totally God's arrangement. It's by God's grace that I was selected among thousands and thousands of other better candidates out there. 

After my class, I cried a little while I was driving. I was so grateful to God for He took my disgrace away. When everyone else, including those closest to me, thought that I could not make it, I did it. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him, everything is possible! 

Thinking English while swimming

I have the honour to teach Nicolas, a ten-year-old boy from France for this whole week. As he has just changed from a French school to an international school, his English is as of those five-year-old. Never mind about that, he's cute and smart. He learns fast. 

For the first day, I had him design his own T-shirt with a fabric crayon. At the first look, it was horrible and I was thinking, "Would he wear this?" But after 20 minutes of drawing and colouring, viola! The T-shirt was brought to life! It was simply beautiful that left me with awe. 

Before I left, Nicolas' mom suggested swimming as part of the lesson to learn English. I was overwhelmed. Swim-and-learn-English? Is this a new lesson or what? I went online to search for games to play when one is swimming. There isn't much help. 

Finally, thank God for His creativity, I got the hint of finding something which could float for the boy to catch or read. And I came to the conclusion of having written papers inserted into clear empty bottles.

Before the game, I taught Nicolas about synonyms and when we reached the pool, I had all the bottles thrown into the pool. Nicolas had to swim to get a pair of bottles with the right synonyms. Eg. If he gets "beautiful" as the first bottle, he needs to find "pretty" and passed to me. The boy enjoyed the game while I enjoyed teaching. So, how about some synonyms in the pool? 

How to learn while having fun?

What makes you laugh? What makes you wanted to jump from the chair and rush to it? Those are the things that interest you and will motivate you to learn more about it. One of my friends is a great hobbyist. Once he falls in love with a hobby, he'll go an extra mile to learn about his hobby. For example, when he likes watches. He will learn about how to dismantle a watch and put all the parts together again. He will get contacts of professional watch repairers and get classes or advices from them. He will search through the internet and read all about watches. He will strive till there is nothing new for him to learn and yes, he is so good in watches that he knows whether one is genuine or a fake one by just one look. That is how one learns while having fun. 

What about children? Children like to imitate adults. They want to be adults. They want to do what adults are doing and get the feel of being adults. Therefore, "fun" for them is doing what adults are doing. If a constant "no" is being said to them, they will have low self-esteem and eventually lost interest in learning altogether. 

When I am cutting lady's fingers, my son came to the kitchen. He stood beside me and watched me carefully. I turned to ask, "Do you want to try?" He was elated. He must be thinking, "Can I?" I smiled at him and said, "Come on. Mama will teach you how to cut off the ends of lady's fingers." I taught him how to hold a knife and cut off the ends of lady's fingers and he did it. No accidents. I think my son enjoyed cutting the lady's fingers and he had fun cutting them. Through this activity, he not only learns how to cut a lady's finger but also enhances his hand-eye coordination, self-confidence and concentration. Isn't it great to have learnt so many things at one time?

Children learn throughout the day. They are like dry sponges ready to absorb whatever "water" we are giving them. So, it all depends on us as parents whether to give them a positive input or a negative one. We need to give confidence to the children on what they can do according to their ages. For example, children age two can be allowed to cut scrap papers using plastic scissors. 

My son likes to pay money at the counter. He feels like an adult. We are still in the midst of teaching him  how to recognise the different notes and coins. By being able to pay at the counter trigger him to learn what those notes and coins mean and as he learn, he has fun.