Parents should be firm yet gentle

"Oh, I don't know how to be a mother!" Sometimes I heard myself saying that.

My son is one mischievous lot. When I saw my friend's son could sit down and play quietly, I wondered what is wrong with my son! 

What I learned from the Montessori teacher and also a friend of mine is that I should be firm with my decision. I should not give in no matter how my son whine or cry or throw his tantrum. I know it sounds easy but when it comes to practising it, life could be upside down. Ignoring a child's tantrum is one thing but making him stop the tantrum as well as learning that tantrum does not solve problem is rather a tough task. It takes patience and consistency. 

For example, whenever I asked my son to go to the toilet (yes, he needs to be reminded to pee), he would refuse to and started to stamp his feet. I should say something like, "I think there's an Ultraman in the toilet. Maybe we should check it out." I'll think of ways to lure him to the toilet and yes, I don't stop talking. Talking and distracting him from the whining help to calm him down as well as completing the task in hand. 

Being firm means not giving in. We are adults and should know what is best for the kids. Since we think something is the best for them, we should insist on it and not giving in to them simply because they throw a big tantrum. 

Being gentle means we give reminder on how they should behave (not by kicking, crying, whining, etc). It also means that when they whine and throw a big fit, we don't smack or get angry at them easily. 

I think the method is starting to work within me and my son. I'm having two whine-free days from my son. Keep the fingers crossed!