I had thought of what to say or how to say or simply, what can be shared. But after the meeting, I felt like a fool. I don't know. I couldn't sleep as the picture of her yawning and feeling bored when I was talking made me disheartened.
She was my best friend and to be exact - my ONLY best friend which I still cherished till - yesterday. I felt somewhere, somehow, something was missing. Maybe it was the years of gap that we lost contact or maybe it was because she has changed while I am still the stupid me.
While I tried to cautious, there was a few times that I gave in to "me" because I thought, "Friends should be honest, isn't it? And forgiving, if I say something wrong." I opened a topic on widower remarrying too soon and I found that she didn't understand my point. The conclusion was, "It's not your problem. Why do you have to think about it?"
Yes, it's not my problem but because I linked the question to how much my husband loves me currently, I think it is fairly related. But her further response saddened me.
I felt once again, maybe I had spoken like a fool that's why she was bored. Or maybe she thought I had nothing besides negativism to share. I don't like the idea of that. And to think about it, I doubt she'll come again - ever.
I gave her a bracelet. A bracelet that I bought about 4 years ago when her birthday was arriving and she said she would be coming to meet me up but cancelled her plan. I didn't mention to her about that, because I think, it matters not, anymore.
I believe a good friend is one who stands by you, listen and give counsel to you and not someone who would be agitated when you were just sharing your own thoughts. We really have much difference.
I know I'm slow in growing - spiritually and emotionally but trust me, I'm growing with the help of my current BEST FRIEND- JESUS CHRIST - who will never abandon me or feel bored by me.
I thank The Lord for I don't have to impress Him. I don't have to think about what to say to make Him happy or so forth because He simply loves me.
