YOUR money or MY money?

It was by God's grace that I came upon this book my church's library last Sunday. Here are a few points which I think they're worth sharing. 

1) God designed marriage for us to learn to LOVE and SERVE one another with HUMILITY.

2) Every marriage problem stems from either a failure to leave (leaving the past financially, emotionally and spiritually) and failure to cleave (being ONE with our spouse, just like two pieces of paper which are stuck together - and you can't tear one off without tearing the other)

3) Ephesians 5:33 

Each one of you (husbands) also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NO MATTER WHAT - whether or not the spouse love/ respect, we must initiate the love and respect first). 

4) What can I do with our finances to be a blessing to my spouse? 

Philippians 2:3-4

....look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 

5) View the requests by your spouse (or anyone) as an OPPORTUNITY to serve.

6) Wife's role : assist, encourage & respect 

7) Matthew 12: 25

Every household divided against itself will not stand.

8) Communicate :

    1) long term goals - relationship with God

                                  - family & friends 

                                  - service to others 

                                  - career / skills / education 

    2) long term financial goals - giving 

                                                - spending / lifestyle 

                                                - saving & investing 

                                                - debt 

9) Give some, save some, get out of debt with some, spend some and you'll always have some left.

10) Create a spending plan 

11) Use a car for as long as it can go or buy a used car with low mileage. 

12) Pay all the loans 

Psalms 37: 21 

The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously.

This book also includes questionnaires for couples before their marriage. I think this is very helpful. Two thumbs up! I should have read this before I got married. 😬

We come to serve and not to be served

When I was struggling to figure out what to write (because I envisioned that my readers miss my writing 󾰬󾌪󾌪), I thought, maybe writing is just not what God wants me to do and then BOOM BANG BOOM and God gave me so much of inspiration that my mind can't stop working on how to put them into words!

I somehow joined the PIBG whatsapp group of my son's school. At first, I find it a nuisance because my phone can't stop beeping. Some parents left the group. Some remained including me because I don't want to miss anything interesting or important. Though I am not the active lot who join what the group is doing, I have learnt something invaluable from them.

The active members updated us their progress in planning for CNY celebration and what were needed and that they desperately needed volunteers! VOLUNTEERS!

Oh, my! At this fast pace age when everybody is busy with own things and especially looking for extra $$$, volunteering is out of everyone's mind! People would rather sit in the comfort of their home and enjoying their favourite TV program than having a meeting in the school after work.

And today is the day for the open house. We were punctual and I was amazed at the decoration and how the VOLUNTEERS worked in harmony and with joy! Who are they? They are also working adults. They are also parents of kids who are studying. It takes great LOVE and JOY to be able to GIVE out their precious time.

Serving others is one difficult thing to do but that's what Jesus wants us to do.

"The greatest among you shall be your servant"

Matthew 23:11

And what's the reward?

"Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered."

Proverbs 11:25

Besides, if you volunteer and work to help others, you actually live longer! This is proven scientifically and you can google for other health benefits it provide.

Now that we know how important serving is, let's serve with a humble heart to glorify our Father in heaven.

"Let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:16

New year is a time to receive and give our blessings

I delayed my gratification to write. What am I talking about? I like to write but I don't know whether I should share this because I've always wanted to be humble. Ahem...

Like usual, festive seasons, especially Chinese New Year meant FOOD, and lots of that. We went for meals which cost more than a month of salary for some. I am ever grateful to be the honorable guest and have had the best food which I may not order for life if I were on my own. But while eating, my mind went bizarre with questions. 

"Do we really need to eat these? Do we really need to eat at this restaurant? So expensive? So extravagant?"

I felt I'm crazy. I should enjoy each moment. I like being dressed like a princess and honored but I also truly enjoy being me in my plain T-shirt and shorts and eat at the hawker stalls. 

After all the blessings that we have received, especially Isaac, after receiving a bag of old toy cars from our friends' son, it's time we talked about GIVING. Earlier on, I had packed a bag of old clothes for the welfare home. We sent them over and visited the mentally retarded children in the centre. It's always in me to let Isaac visit the welfare home because when I was small, my mom took me to the orphanage and I wanted this to be carried on to the next generation and so on. 

The lady in charge of the centre took us for a tour and introduced the children to us. There was one child who is born blind and he constantly bit himself. The worker has to tie up his hands and tuck them under his pants to stop him from hurting himself. There were two children with cerebral palsy and they were laid on the beds. The rest of them were "watching" TV. There were a pair of sister and brother which were quite normal looking. In fact, I think they're beautiful. Yet, their parents left them because they have low IQ. It was sad. 

The point of the visit is to make this new year not only a time to receive blessings but also a time to give our blessings to others in need. 

When we were back at home, Isaac helped to pick out the old toys which he didn't play with anymore and which he was reluctant to let go before this. My nephew asked, "Why stingy?" I said, "Poor people are stingy because we are afraid that after we let go, we won't have anymore left for ourselves. But most of the time, we actually lack nothing because God is good. We need constant reminder to be generous." 

And we have Hannah to thank. Recently she likes to listen to a CD which has stories and hymns. There is a story about sharing. Usually we only give to others what we don't want or need. But the actual fact of sharing also means to share even the best of something. It is difficult to do that...but we shall pray. 

May God open up our eyes and let us share even what's still good to us. 

Happy new year to all!