Anxiety attack

YL informed me that he could no longer provide transportation for me and worked as a middle man between the supplier and me. So, my dream of expanding my online business has come to an end abruptly. How sad! 

Just when I thought I should not give up - at least not now - because it has just survived a year and 1 year is a taboo because I never worked on anything more than a year! So, I should strive harder but alas, I am forced to stop. There's no way to continue because no one is transporting the goods for me.  It's not so easy to find someone to transport - I am talking about someone who would not "eat up" my share. 

While I was still wondering and being grateful I still have a translation job in hand to replace this, I was hit by another blow that I've missed the dateline on 21 June! I promised to get back to the management in two days and while I labored till midnight on the work, I got a reply in the morning that they had the job done and sent to the client. Gosh! My late night gone down the drain. And after waiting for a few days to see whether there's any reply from the management, I know quite well that they won't come back to me as someone who could not keep to the dateline is as well be kicked out. No excuses eventhough I am a patient of depression. OK. Who knows? Who cares? Keep that nonsense to yourself. As long as you want to work and earn, you've gotta fit into the circle and meet the demands of the employer. Excuses are considered lame. 

What else can I say? I should continue to be a housewife...

Let God be our Avenger

It's amazing how kids and adults like Avengers. I asked Isaac why he likes Avengers. 
"Because they have power" was his reply. 

I think the creators of Avengers and other superheroes, like most of us, have a need for someone to help at a certain point of time, thus the creation of these superheroes to uphold justice. But very rarely do we see justice nowadays...

I told Isaac, "Avengers are just movie characters. They don't come out to help people. Avengers mean people who avenge for our suppression. And in real life, God is our Avenger because He asks us not to revenge for ourselves but wait for His time." 

And like King David during his trial time, he waited patiently for God to avenge for him. It'll take me a whole life to learn this lesson - to never bad mouth about anyone who go against me even during suppression - for He sees and hears all.